So much to say, but not enough space to write it down

Hello again, this time, from Utah. Back home now, well, have been since the 25th. The first few days were hectic, then there wasn't enough going on, then hectic, then absolutely nothing again. I swear, my mood changes as much, if not more, than the weather.
Our trip to California was wonderful, and very much needed. I posted all the photos from our trip on my facebook. I really just had a lot of fun with my family and my camera. =o) The girls had WONDERFUL birthdays. It's actually kind of nice having their birthdays in the same month, not going to lie!
Anyway, the first few days back home were nice. I was busy with tidying up the apartment and doing loads upon loads of laundry. So, that kept me pretty busy. It was the day or two I did absolutely nothing that sent me into what I will just refer to as "crazy." It didn't help matters any that I didn't talk to husband for almost 4 days. Yes, I know, he's on a deployment, that should be no big deal. He tries to talk with us everyday on skype if he can, so, call me spoiled I guess? Anyway, after day 3 (this has only happened maybe three times the whole deployment) I start to just go stir crazy. Monday was Memorial Day and also day 3 of no communication. So, I decided to put on my big-girl panties and brave the Hogle Zoo. The girls had SO MUCH fun, even the baby. I kept catching her waving at all the animals, so stinkin' cute! The big one had just as much fun. I gave her the zoo map and she showed me where she wanted to go. We spent nearly 4 hours at the zoo, it was great. I was able to get some sun and exercise!
Well, finally heard from husband the next day. So, all was well in my world again, or so I thought. The next day I logged onto his facebook and saw he had a message from his ex-girlfriend, the same one who just couldn't seem to let him go for almost the whole first 2 years we were married. I flipped! I actually gave myself and anxiety attack over it. He wasn't really trying to communicate with her or anything else. But, I still couldn't handle her trying to form any kind of relationship with him again. Later that day, I told him everything and I even told him I blocked her from communicating him completely, which he was fine with. This "episode" made me realize that maybe I do need some help, so I made an appointment with a psychologist, whom I saw today. The appointment was only supposed to be 45 minutes, as it is usually just for evaluations and such. Well, it ended up being nearly an hour and a half long. Janie's got issues ;o) Good news, I will be meeting with him weekly at least until husband returns home.
I guess I'm just tired of pushing everything aside or to another part of my brain and trying to convince myself I'm "A Ok." Also, I was supposed to hear back from my OB-GYN yesterday or today about my biopsy results. Yes, I had an abnormal pap back in February and had the biopsy last week. Anyway, got the results back today and I have moderate dysplasia. Pre-cancerous cells were found and they want to set up an appointment to do a LEEP procedure. Well, I told them I wasn't ready to set up the appointment yet. Call me crazy or whatever, but the doctor did say July would still work, it shouldn't be put off too long. So, I'm going to wait for the husband to come home. A) so he can watch the girls and be there for me B) after the procedure, no sex for 4-6 weeks. I'm sorry, I just had to go 2 1/2 months without any loving of any kind.. TMI possibly, but sorry, lol...
Anyway, long update, I don't usually like to post so much, but I had a lot on my mind! Hope you are all still awake ;o)