My friend is doing a post a day picture for every day of the year. Totally awesome. I don't have nearly that much dedication! Today she had an update along with the picture, and it had me thinking. They moved into their new place, and she blogged about finally being settled in.. Then it hit me, something I've been thinking about quite a lot recently. I haven't felt settled in at home anywhere since our very first place together in 2005. =o/
We lived in Texas for about 3 months, never totally unpacked. It did help that we had a storage unit though, but really, who could feel at home for just 3 months?! Then we moved to Utah, Jan 07 to Oct 07. Our bedroom was still the hub for boxes. Cali, Oct 07-08, kind of felt at home there, but stuff was still mostly in boxes. Guess what, almost 5 years later from that first move and we are STILL living out of boxes it seems!
As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm sure I have, I'm a hoarder. Not NEARLY as bad as the people on tv and it didn't totally start until after my dad died and we accumulated a good chunk of his stuff. I have barely touched any of it. I haven't been able to "move on" and do anything with any of it. I think I'm finally ready. I threw out some stuff yesterday that has just been sitting in a box for a while and is completely useless. It felt GREAT!
I broke down yesterday while talking with the husband. I was telling him some grand plans I have for the next few days in order to rearrange some stuff and hopefully get our youngest into the 3rd bedroom, eventually. I told him I know we'll be here in this apartment for about another year and I'm just tired of looking at all the crap. Then I cried, and told him I think I'm finally ready to go through some of my dad's stuff. I told him how when I was home, I actually picked up my father's urn. Something I've never been able to do in the 5 years he's been deceased. Grief hurts, moving on hurts, but I'll tell you what, it feels so much better. It's almost like being a child again, and having a band aid ripped off by your father in one fell swoop ;o). The grief hurts the longest, but moving on is like the band aid... It may hurt for a moment, but in the end, you feel much better. You may still have a scar to remember it by, but it no longer hurts.
2 comments:
im so glad you made some progress. i still have a shoe box of random mom stuff laying on the floor in my room. havent touched it since i moved here! just easier to leave it :) im so proud of ya tho cuz.
thanks =o) I cleaned off my dining room table again today too. so it's finally usable again haha. Isn't it weird how that happens.. Just gets pushed off to the side..
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