I must still be in some denial..

18 days. 18 days and my little, blonde girl starts Kindergarten! She's 5 and I am still in shock. I see her becoming the big girl, and part of me still wants the little girl back. Before she started her ADHD fits and tantrums and just general change in behavior.. But we're working on it. I know my relationship with the young one is much different from my relationship with her, and I need to work on that too.

I don't think it helped any that I had blondie when I was barely 19, I was 22 with #2. I was 19, in the military, and selfish. I still don't know if I can call myself a "teen" parent. Sure, I was 18 when I got pregnant, but I was also married and had a full-time job, a career. Well, it was supposed to be, but I don't really regret that decision. Still, it was much easier the second time around, especially considering I am a stay at home mom now.

So what I wanna know, and yes, it is a rhetorical question.. When the hell is this going to start getting easier?! I'd TOTALLY hire a maid in a heartbeat if we could afford it. Not a full-time one either, someone to come like once or twice a week to tackle all the real hard crap that frankly, I really don't want to do. A cook would be nice too, and just during the summertime.

I HATE cooking in the summertime. It's too hot and I don't want to actually eat anything that needs to be prepared.. I'm all for Jamba Juice dinners and salad. Is it realistic? No.. Is it pricey? Yessss. No fair.

Wow, this has totally started turning into a random post! Anyway, what I'm getting at.. on the 29th, she starts Kindergarten. I am losing sleep over this, because I'm not sure how it's going to go for her. I want her to do well, I want her to succeed, and most of all, I want her to enjoy school. *Putting on my cape* I'm ready to do WHATEVER I need to do for my child. If I have to medicate her, I will. If I have to meet weekly, monthly, whenever with her teacher to see her progress, I will do so! I love my baby, and I don't want to be one of the pushy, overbearing mothers. I just want to see her succeed and enjoy it as she goes.