I just wish I could turn my brain off or "pause" it sometimes. But no, here I sit at almost 3 in the morning. Unable to sleep due to pain, thoughts and worries about the new house, and mostly wondering what I can do to get my daughter the help she needs.
The thoughts about the house are pretty small compared to the thoughts about my daughter. I've been fighting since October for her to be seen and receive a proper diagnosis. Luckily she's on the high functioning end of the spectrum and doesn't need certain services right away. But some services would be better than none at this point and time.
I miss having a good night's sleep. I don't think 5 hours of sleep a night is truly the best for anyone. I'm tired of not being healthy. If it's not one thing, it's another. But what I hate most of all, is feeling like everything is out of my control right now. I'm trying not to feel like I'm having a breakdown, but I just wish I knew which doctor was going to help my baby. I wish I knew approximately when my house will be ready. I want to know if I will have a refrigerator and other necessities ready by the time we need to move. I wish I knew when my lungs will be better. Hearing the PA standing in for my doctor tell me it could take up to 6 weeks just aggravates me.