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Friday, November 23, 2012

Insomnia Strikes... Again

Nearly 4 am here, lying in bed next to my perfectly warm, sleeping husband. Unfortunately for me, I'm wide awake. I have a massive amount of crap running through my head.
I keep thinking of all the things I need to do over the next few days. I am thinking about Christmas and how to prepare for that. But the biggest thing currently on my mind is being 2 states away from my family.
My 89 year old grandma, the matriarch of the family has basically been classified as terminally ill with cancer and there really isn't much I can do to help or anything in any way from 2 states away.
The recent news of the hospital's wishes for her to enter into a hospice and seeing her decline over the last year has begun to take its toll on me. Some parts are bringing up old feelings from when I went through this with my father.
I think I need therapy again. I need to know how to cope with this. The kids are still so young, I'm not certain how it will impact them. I'm worried about my mother worst of all. Now and after my grandmother passes. My mom lost her father at a young age and it hit her hard. I cannot begin to fathom what this may do to her. So I think it would be best for everyone if I went back to see my psychologist. I need to figure out how best to help everyone around me and myself as we all grieve differently.
Well, I think I may finally be going cross-eyed and would love to prevent my phone from landing flat on my face.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

4 more days

I keep posting it on Facebook, but feel I'm beating a dead horse.  

I'm SO over this election nonsense.  Obviously you vote for the candidate on a personal level of some sort, whether it's social, moral, spiritual, economic, etc. etc. reason.  Either that or you just choose "the lesser of two evils."  This is my second major election and proving to be my second difficult election.  Being a Libertarian, I find positive things in both presidential candidates, but I find negative things as well.  Whether you care to agree or not, given the circumstances, I believe Obama has really tried.  Which, that's all a man can do, correct?  I will give him credit for that.  He appeals to me on a certain social level.  Unfortunately, I find the social issues will not save our country.  So, the fiscal conservative in me sees Romney as the type who may be able to fix things.  Now, I don't expect anyone any time soon to actually fix our economy.  It's so incredibly broken.  Sometimes I wonder if our country/government just needs a complete "redo."  

Back to voting for a candidate on a personal level.. Another reason I would vote for Romney.  I feel Obama has not listened to the voices of everyone.  Granted, how is a single president supposed to listen to the voices of every citizen in the country.  How is a God going to listen to every single prayer or request of the human race?  On that personal level, I feel Romney would be better for our nation's military.  I'm not meaning planes and weapons here, I'm talking about the actual people of our armed forces.  Really, in all honesty, I would vote for Ron Paul if he stood a chance, but unfortunately he doesn't.  I tend to feel Bush understood the needs of our service members and their families (or even the veterans and retirees) because he did serve in the military.  Yes, I know Romney didn't, but I do think it should be a requirement in order to run for president.  

Needless to say, I cannot wait for election day.  I can't wait for this madness to end.  With social media and an election season the truly ugly or ignorant sides of people do come out from time to time.  And I don't mean everyone.  There are a very SELECT few and most have already been removed from my news feed.  

Anyway, you can take whatever you want from this post.  But remember it is MY opinion and I'm not looking for a debate (and not just because I feel I may be wrong either), but because it is my opinion and I'm at least entitled to that.