Flying my white flag

I hate days like this. I feel utterly defeated. It's drill weekend, so the children's routine is completely out of whack.
They have been in their room almost all day, "cleaning." They cannot get along and my oldest is constantly tattling. Even if the youngest looks at her funny, I have to hear about it. The whining, the crying... I'm just so over it all. I'm having a hard enough week as it is, I feel like this is just added stress. I'm trying my damnedest to keep my sanity and they are just running me over, into the ground.
Days like this make me wonder if I'm truly cut out for this stay at home mom crap. I don't feel like I can get ANYTHING productive done if I constantly have to play referee between these two. I'm burnt out, I'm overwhelmed, I want a break. But, even if a break does any good (for me) for a week or two, it will just go back to this. This feeling of complete and utter defeat.

Insomnia Strikes... Again

Nearly 4 am here, lying in bed next to my perfectly warm, sleeping husband. Unfortunately for me, I'm wide awake. I have a massive amount of crap running through my head.
I keep thinking of all the things I need to do over the next few days. I am thinking about Christmas and how to prepare for that. But the biggest thing currently on my mind is being 2 states away from my family.
My 89 year old grandma, the matriarch of the family has basically been classified as terminally ill with cancer and there really isn't much I can do to help or anything in any way from 2 states away.
The recent news of the hospital's wishes for her to enter into a hospice and seeing her decline over the last year has begun to take its toll on me. Some parts are bringing up old feelings from when I went through this with my father.
I think I need therapy again. I need to know how to cope with this. The kids are still so young, I'm not certain how it will impact them. I'm worried about my mother worst of all. Now and after my grandmother passes. My mom lost her father at a young age and it hit her hard. I cannot begin to fathom what this may do to her. So I think it would be best for everyone if I went back to see my psychologist. I need to figure out how best to help everyone around me and myself as we all grieve differently.
Well, I think I may finally be going cross-eyed and would love to prevent my phone from landing flat on my face.

4 more days

I keep posting it on Facebook, but feel I'm beating a dead horse.  

I'm SO over this election nonsense.  Obviously you vote for the candidate on a personal level of some sort, whether it's social, moral, spiritual, economic, etc. etc. reason.  Either that or you just choose "the lesser of two evils."  This is my second major election and proving to be my second difficult election.  Being a Libertarian, I find positive things in both presidential candidates, but I find negative things as well.  Whether you care to agree or not, given the circumstances, I believe Obama has really tried.  Which, that's all a man can do, correct?  I will give him credit for that.  He appeals to me on a certain social level.  Unfortunately, I find the social issues will not save our country.  So, the fiscal conservative in me sees Romney as the type who may be able to fix things.  Now, I don't expect anyone any time soon to actually fix our economy.  It's so incredibly broken.  Sometimes I wonder if our country/government just needs a complete "redo."  

Back to voting for a candidate on a personal level.. Another reason I would vote for Romney.  I feel Obama has not listened to the voices of everyone.  Granted, how is a single president supposed to listen to the voices of every citizen in the country.  How is a God going to listen to every single prayer or request of the human race?  On that personal level, I feel Romney would be better for our nation's military.  I'm not meaning planes and weapons here, I'm talking about the actual people of our armed forces.  Really, in all honesty, I would vote for Ron Paul if he stood a chance, but unfortunately he doesn't.  I tend to feel Bush understood the needs of our service members and their families (or even the veterans and retirees) because he did serve in the military.  Yes, I know Romney didn't, but I do think it should be a requirement in order to run for president.  

Needless to say, I cannot wait for election day.  I can't wait for this madness to end.  With social media and an election season the truly ugly or ignorant sides of people do come out from time to time.  And I don't mean everyone.  There are a very SELECT few and most have already been removed from my news feed.  

Anyway, you can take whatever you want from this post.  But remember it is MY opinion and I'm not looking for a debate (and not just because I feel I may be wrong either), but because it is my opinion and I'm at least entitled to that.  

XY chromosomes rock

I certainly can appreciate a hot bod.  Especially if the hot bod is made up of long hair and nice muscles, tattoos are definitely nice, but not a must. 
I love football season.  I love going to heavy metal shows.  I love being female, the one with the XX chromosomes! 
That is all, for now.

Actions speak louder than words

There is one person in this world I'd like to talk to the most right now and can't, because he's dead.
I feel blah, emotionally detached, antisocial, maybe a side of depressed. I really didn't know come Monday I would feel like this. The same person who allowed me to enter into this "funk" is also the same person who tells me no one else can ever make you feel a certain way without your permission. Maybe not word for word, but same thing in as many words. I can't believe getting a tattoo would cause such a ruckus with certain relationships. At the end of the day, I know who is always by my side and accepting of me no matter what and that's all that matters.
So, for the person not speaking to me right now: why??? I'm not a bad person. I live an honest and just life. I'm a good person, wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter. So what is it I've done throughout my life to make you seem ashamed of me at times? Yes, you say it's disappointment but really this isn't the first time something like this has occurred. Why is it that others can TRULY accept me for me but it seems you can't? I doubt you will read this. I may even end up deleting it, but it just needed to come off my chest one way or another.

Lessons in life can be hard

There are times when I wish I was more girlie. Not totally sure where this came from, but I think the late time insomnia and medicine has a small something to do with it.
I doubt my husband would truly mind if I was more lady-like. When we started dating, I wasn't especially girly. I wore make up and the occasional dress or skirt. But he married the Air Force, country girl from northern California.
I used to get my nails done quite frequently. I actually love having fake nails, it just gets rather pricey from time to time.
Honestly though, I just wish I was more girly a times. Maybe I will feel the opportunity will be more possible after I get to a decent goal weight. There are SO many cute clothes and outfits I don't feel like I can wear because I'm not physically appealing to myself. There's that saying about loving yourself before you can love others that comes to mind. Maybe if I felt more physically appealing to myself I will feel like I'm more appealing to my husband?
He tells me I'm beautiful and loves me the way I am. But to be honest, I don't love me.

Growing up...

Growing up is a fascinating thing to me.  Watching my children grow is highly fascinating as well. 

Yesterday I passed one of my old high schools, I went to two.  And I started thinking about the wreck I was in my Freshman year of high school.  I was riding with my boyfriend at the time as we were going out for a date.  I am from a town of a few hundred people outside of Redding, CA which has a population of about 80,000.  Anyway, we were traveling on the country roads on our way into "town" for our date.  He didn't see the stop sign at the intersection of a country road and a very busy 55/65 mph highway.  As we fly past the stop sign, I look out my window and remember this van coming very close to hitting me.  I thought we passed it when, WHAM!  The van hit the back of his jeep and tore the back hatch entirely off the vehicle.

Anyway, I ended up with a huge goose egg/bump on my forehead and a concussion.  I was unable to play basketball for 2 weeks and I was slightly devastated.  Of course I was more worried at the time about if mom was going to kill my boyfriend and missing a few games.  I didn't kiss the ground everyday and praise a God that I was happy to be alive. 

It was a day or two later that the swelling began to go down, but 2 black circles emerged around and under my eyes.  I was unaware that jokes had already begun around school.  I had raccoon eyes, which was apparently quite humorous to my peers.  But, what I remember the most is one particular joke going around about myself and how we ended up crashing. 

It made me think, hope, and pray my children never have to endure anything like what I went through as a kid.  I'm mostly worried for Shannon since she is my special kid and like me in so many ways.  I was already socially awkward and a chatterbox (surprise surprise).  I never felt normal almost the entire time I was in school.  I was pretty much picked on from day one and it stopped after I joined the military. 

As an adult, you begin to realize the personal struggles one endures on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, or at least I have.  After my mom's house burnt down, she was basically homeless, with no bra, and no shoes.  So she went to the store to buy items to replace those since she didn't have any.  I'm sure she got stares and possible rude comments.  But it's because people can be heartless and judgemental.  We learn it at an early age and sometimes it changes. 

So, here I was 15 years old and being laughed at in school after dodging death.  I REALLY could have died that day.  If that van hit his Jeep in the wrong way, I could have died.  And no one seemed to care.  I think some of my close friends did.  But people were too caught up in how to make fun of me than asking if truly was okay. 

It's been almost 10 years now, this November anyway.  And this is still bugging me.  I don't necessarily want or need to receive apologies from peers.  But I just hope people learn from bullying someday and teach their own kids how harmful bullying can be.  I've forgiven and forgotten.  I know the truth that day.  We were talking when he went through the stop sign, that is all.  No funny business. 

Glutton For Punishment

Well, I am!  Today I completed day 2 of TurboFire.  It's the first of many days on a course to a better me.  I forgot how much fun the workouts are, and how much I love them.  Seriously though, as the title says, I must be a real glutton for punishment.  I'm sore from my ankles to my neck.  I want more!  I'm back to being my old self, a workout/activity junkie. 

Tomorrow is my first rest day in week 1 of 9 in TurboFire.  But I'm going to spend the morning of my rest day at the gym hitting tennis balls.  TOTALLY excited for that.  I haven't participated in any kind of sport since 2004/2005.  Tomorrow morning the man who set up my membership is going to hit some balls in my direction and give me a rating.  Once I have a rating, I can find a group to play with, I hope!  Looking for a nice physical activity and hopefully I can meet some new people! 

5 Question Friday

1. Thunderstorms - love them or hate them?
~ Love love love love love them!  My love for thunderstorms started at a very young age.  One time I remember driving to an awesome spot in the northern California valley where we (my mom, dad, and I) could watch a thunderstorm one night.  It was magnificent. 

2. Do your kids get back to school clothes?
~ Yes!  I did, so why shouldn't they?  My grandma and I always used to go shopping before school started every year.  This year is technically my first "back to school year" as a parent.  So, when my mother was in town, we drove up to Park City and went shopping.

3. Do you golf?  Do you watch it?
~ No and NO!  I have no desire to watch it whatsoever.  Now I'm not knocking the opportunity to ever play golf, I just don't feel an immediate need to do so.

4. Showers or baths?
~ Showers.  I don't like our bathtub enough to take a bath in it.  Now, if I had a big, deep one like my mother's, I just might take more baths.  Besides, it's hard for me to just relax.  So I would have to read a book or be doing something while taking a bath.

5. What's the strangest meal you ever ate?
~ Strangest?  Hmm, not too sure.  I'm a VERY picky eater, so there really isn't much of anything strange I will eat.  I've eaten escargot before.  That's pretty strange, to me anyway. 

The questions for 5QF can be found at: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

Why be discouraged??

I found myself irritated today when I woke up.  I was in a lot of pain, it didn't matter which way I moved in bed, I hurt.  Due to that physical state, I saw no desire to get out of bed.  My children were playing quietly in their room, I had my phone and iPad there.  I was pretty much convinced I could lie there all day. 
But I didn't.  After being awake for 20-25 minutes, I convinced myself to get out of bed.  Found the willpower and I did it.  A few hours later, I was still in a lot of pain and it had me really discouraged.  I pretty much stayed on the couch until the husband came home.  Wait, I take that back, 30 minutes or so before he walked in the door, I started folding laundry.  And that's when it hit me...
A week ago, I couldn't even walk on my own.  I still needed to be assisted when I walked.  I was finally able to cook dinner tonight for the first time in two weeks.  I'm still only 2 weeks post op on my knee as of Thursday.  My knee can be bent almost comfortably now, even though I still can't sit Indian style.  Another small improvement, I can cross my ankles when I sit on the couch now and I can cross my legs.  That is something I haven't been able to do without pain in almost 2 months. 
So, when I get discouraged for not being 100% yet, I need to sit back and look at the small accomplishments.  I've always been this way though, so it's hard to be any different.  I'm my biggest (and worst) critic when it comes to some things.  Today I was proud of myself for not completely beating myself up.  Saturday was the first day I was walking completely unassisted.  That was less than a week ago!  I just need to keep exercising the way the doctor showed me; I need to keep getting up and moving, even if it hurts.  I can do this!  I just need to be my biggest fan or cheerleader versus critic.  I can do this!!

So excited, I can hardly contain myself

Today, my mom and I went and looked at a gym I researched a month ago. I was waiting to go tour and talk to the membership director because of my upcoming knee surgery. Well, surgery was on the 11th and went great! Knee was actually in better shape than anticipated.



This gym is AMAZING! It has 20 indoor/outdoor tennis courts, racquetball, basketball, free weights, machines, cardio machines, indoor/outdoor track, spin room, fitness classes, pool, spa, bar, and supplement/drink shop. Seriously, it has everything and more I've ever wanted in a gym.


Starting next week, I want to start doing the Wii Fit again and use a stationary bike (as suggested by the orthopedic surgeon). In the next few weeks, I'd like to get that membership going and get rated to play tennis at the gym's club. Once I start that, I would also like to swap out the Wii Fit for my TurboFire program.


I've lost 20 lbs so far with Weight Watchers and I still have about 25-30 more to go. Goal now is to lose and tone up. And I cannot wait to get started!!!

PS...

Just forgot something for the last post.  Not only should one not tell people what to post and what not to post on social network sites, don't tell people how to live their lives either!!! 
Things in life will only be a big deal if someone makes it a big deal.  What's the saying, no use making mountains out of mole hills?? 

Something has been on my mind

So, once again I am fed up with the world of social networking.  Remember a year ago or longer when I said social networking isn't the place for dating and such?  Well, who am I to judge what social networking is for..?  That's the main point I am getting at here.
I am beyond tired of seeing the constant pity parties, whining, self-loathing, beyond unintelligent posts I see on Facebook. The sheer stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me.  But, I still don't feel like it is my job to tell someone what they should or shouldn't post on social sites.  After all, that's what they are intended for.  Also, I don't feel like anyone should try to dictate what myself or others do either. 
I rarely take offense to things or become offended in any way.  It is REALLY hard to shock me too.  So, the other day this family friend wrote a post on Facebook.  Voicing his opinion of what should and should not be posted basically.  Also telling us, his "friends," there would be a "strike three" rule implemented.  I'm pretty sure one of the examples he gave of things to probably not share on Facebook was semi directed at me. 
After I took my bandages and wrap off my knee (I recently had arthroscopic knee surgery) I took a photo and posted it to my mother's "wall."  No big deal, I thought it would be easier than posting it on my own for everyone to see.  Granted, it wasn't THAT gross at all.  So, one of this person's examples was to not post recent surgery scars either.  How could I NOT think that wasn't meant for me??  Well, maybe unless someone else had posted one that truly was obscene.
It bothered me most of the night and part of the next morning.  Who are we to tell others what they should and should not post?  Granted I am somewhat guilty for complaining about things people "liked" on some random page and it still popped up on my wall.  Thank you, friend, for "liking" the photo of the woman on the guy's shoulders in a towel.  Said male was pinning the girl against the wall with his face into her crotch.  Disgusting, and I didn't need to see it on my wall, and my 3 year old next to me certainly didn't need to see anything of that sort.  But, I didn't go to that friend and tell him not to "like" or comment on that stuff because it would pop up in my feed.  I just simply changed some settings.  
Anyway, my point here is I shouldn't have to think before posting something if it's going to offend someone or cause someone to unfriend me.  Really, it's my page, I will do with it as I see fit.  If you don't like what I say or post on there, unfriend me.  It's really quite easy and would save from any unnecessary drama or bullshit.  With that being said.  Rant over.  Thinking it's time for bed.  Until tomorrow, my friends.   

Five Question Friday

1. Is love at 1st sight possible?
~ NO!  Heavens no.  Lust at first sight, yes; lust at first sight, no! 

2. How did you choose your pet's name?
~ Easy, I didn't choose it.  My husband and I battled over names for over a week.  I don't remember how he came up with the name, but I eventually agreed.  Thorgrim Doomhammer.

3. What are you considering giving up (cable, home phone)?
~ Not sure if there's much of anything I'm considering giving up.  If it came down to it, I'd give up the home phone.  Or I would try to downgrade our cable, get rid of the movie channels.

4. How much do you pay your babysitter?
~ 10/hr for our 14 year old babysitter usually.  $5/each kid. 

5. How "young" is old enough to babysit?
~ When I was a kid, I believe the rule was 13.  At 13, I was able to take a babysitting class at a local hospital.  So, I like if the babysitter is 13 or older.

The questions for 5GF can be found at: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

5QF

1. What's your favorite childhood snack that you still eat as an adult?
~  No idea, I didn't really snack much.  So I'm not totally sure how to answer this.  One thing I absolutely loved as a kid was peanut butter on apple slices!

2.  What food will you not eat the low fat version of?
~  Haha, there's definitely more than one!!  I'm  more into practicing self control of the good foods vs constantly going low fat.

3.  What's your favorite way to cool off during the summer?
~  Peach iced tea and a cold apartment!

4.  What's your favorite summer read?
~  Anything?  I don't have a specific book I read just during the summer.  I'll read anything that looks good.

5.  What are you doing to stay cool during this awful heat?
~  Awful heat??  Oh man, this is a mild summer, haha.  I grew up with 110-120 degree temperature.  To stay cool, I stay hydrated, stick to the shade, and eat lots of fresh fruit!

The questions for 5QF can be found at: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

Day 3, Complete

Day 1: Kitchen
Day 2: Laundry
Day 3: Bathrooms and all of the above. 
I think I did pretty okay.  Did toilets, front bathroom sink, litter box and swept front bathroom.  I picked all the clothes and towels up in the back bathroom.  Got a hold on laundry, did bedding, cooked meals, and washed all the dishes from today.  I would say I'm fairly content with today's progress.  This was all on top of helping out with my friend's 5 kids downstairs.  She was admitted to the hospital early this morning and had her gallbladder removed this afternoon.  It's 1130 at night and I'm finally getting a chance to rest a little more.  Not sure what I have set as my goal for tomorrow.  Maybe the dining room so we can eat at the table as a family again. 
Growing up, we only ate at the dining room table once, maybe twice a year.  Aside from that, it was the hub or store all for random items and junk.  I seem to have carried on this trait from my childhood.  So as an adult, I have always enjoyed sitting down and actually eating a meal with my little family. 
To some this may seem like some boring post about a housewife actually seeing to her housewife duties.  To me it is something more.  I'm attempting to hold myself accountable and keep track of the progress I make.  I've been pretty happy lately as well.  Maybe my sense of accomplishment, or lack thereof, really does affect my mood!

In Touch With Reality?

I think so...
Reality has sunk in, mostly.  I've been injured since May 24th.  I saw the orthopedic surgeon this week and he's almost 100% positive it is a torn meniscus.  To what degree, we are still unsure.  I will most likely have an MRI done this week.  My next appointment with the doc is on the 28th. 
I left his office fighting back tears.  There is so much I'd like to do and so much I'm still trying to do.  I have 2 great tennis rackets and now have the ambition and the funds to join a local tennis club.  That will now have to be put on hold.  I wanna do awesome things with my babies this summer, and those plans will have to be temporarily put on hold as well. 
The self pity party started back up again Thursday night at the Toby Keith concert and continued into last night.  No more!  I have decided there is no time better than ever other than now to carry on my weight loss journey.  After all, I started this voyage without clearance to do much physical activity due to my asthma.  After talking to 2 really awesome friends, I've decided to stick with weight watchers through to recovery.  One friend made a very valid point tonight that my recovery will be MUCH easier if I maintain my healthy diet.  So that is just what I'm going to do.  I will still try to be as active as my knee and doctor allow, but I will not break myself worse than I already may be. 
Also, I have about 2 1/2 weeks before my 6 year old returns home from grandma's house.  She brings such joy to my life and I can't wait to have her back.  Needless to say, my housewife skills have been less than stellar over the past few months.  So, I would like to use these 2 1/2 weeks of just having one child to my absolute benefit. 
For the last 2 days in a row, I've picked one larger daily task.  The first day was the kitchen.  I got all the dishes done and decluttered most of the counters, it was definitely an improvement.  When my knee said it was time to quit, I did, and still felt a sense of accomplishment.  Today, my task was to get all caught up on laundry and de-clutter some of the random clothes strung about in my bedroom.  I was folding clothes from about 10/11 am until about 9:30 tonight.  I even made a wonderful steak and potato dinner for the husband, put away all dishes from dinner, and helped out with our 3 year old as best as I could.  Tomorrow I hope to tackle the bathrooms. 
I have clutter everywhere.  I'm ashamed of it and not proud.  I'm a pretty mild hoarder, but also have ADD, so things often get set somewhere and totally forgotten about.  Once I finally find the courage to work on my "organized chaos" I feel overwhelmed and quick to give up.  Not now!  I need this apartment in perfect shape for my Nanner bug to come home.  Also, if I'm going to be on the mend from surgery for 2 weeks to a month, it needs to be in pristine condition then too.  I believe my mother wants to come out to help and the husband may be able to get some time off.  Needless to say, I will be on the mend and unable to do everything on my own.  And it is going to KILL me!  Lastly, we are going to add a new member to our family here in about 5 or so weeks.  No, I'm not pregnant.  We are getting a kitten.  I don't want kitty to feel overwhelmed in his new environment either, nor do I want him hiding or pottying in any random pile he can find. 
So!  With that being said, this is my hoarder confession.  I'd post pictures to show progress, but at the time I'm just not willing to comply (haha).  I might.  But here I am stating my intentions for all to see.  In the past, I have made goals with horrible or nonexistent follow through, and I'm hoping to change. 

5 Question Friday

1.  Would you grow your hair out to donate it?
~ I actually used to do that in high school.  Probably not any more considering it takes a decade for my hair to even grow past my shoulders.  Maybe someday again.

2.  What song makes you think of summer?
~ You know, I've never really thought about it.  I would say "All Summer Long" by Kid Rock.

3.  Are you a flip flop or sandals kind of person?
~ Well, I am from California.. Definitely flip flops.

4.  Favorite summer treat?
~ Call me crazy here, watermelon.  I'm not overly huge on snow cones or much of anything like that.  But I can definitely eat watermelon and cherries all day long in the summer.

5.  Do you do something special for the father of your children?
~ To be honest, not really.  I don't care too much for Mother's Day, and he doesn't care much for Father's Day.  The kids on the other hand, they love to tell him "happy Father's Day" and get little things for him.  Frankly, I think it should be up to the kids to do the little things for the parents on those days.

The questions for 5QF can be found at: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

5 Question Friday!

1. Did you do anything special for your kids on the last day of school? Or did you parents do anything special for you?
~ Shannon's last day of school was also her Kindergarten graduation.  She got to go play at her grandparents and got a special lunch.  I would like to do something every year though.  I think it would be fun.  I also used to get certain price amounts for whether I got A's or B's. 

2. What's your favorite summer tradition with your children?
~ I don't have one.  I need to start one! 

3. What was your favorite thing to do during the summer as a kid?
~ Sleep in!  No joke.  Got to stay up late and sleep in, it was glorious. 

4. How old were you when you were married? Were you a Bridezilla?
~ I got married at 18.  Nope, I wasn't.. One must have a wedding or be a bride in order to be a Bridezilla.

5. What is your favorite girl name? (I'm needing suggestions.)
~ I love Shannon and Erin.  I had 2 girls and used my 2 favorite girl names. 




The blog where the questions can be found: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

Miss Shannon

As I said in an earlier post or two, we had Shannon tested for ADHD/ADD towards the end of 2011.  The results came back as definitely ADHD Hyperactive, but strong possibility of Inattentive/Hyperactive ADHD with ODD.  We tried to change a few things, but I was still noticing different, very strong behaviors in her.  So about a month and a half ago, I filled out a questionnaire to have her tested for Asperger Syndrome.  Well, I got the test results back today, and I'm still just as confused as I was a few months ago.  It wasn't as clear and detailed as the one we had done for ADHD.  My questionnaire showed it is "likely" that she has Asperger Syndrom.  The teacher's questionnaire showed it's "unlikely" that she has it.  So to me, that is still a 50/50 chance.  My next step will be to try and set up an appointment at the Child Development Clinic at the University of Utah. 
I'm determined to try to do my best for this child.  I refuse to just jump straight to medication.  I would much rather see a professional who can help with tools for everyday life and intervention. 
This parenting thing is tough.  Toughest thing I have ever done in my life, but also the most rewarding.  I am not trying to put a label on my child, I'm just trying to do what's best and do right for my bright, special, amazing 6 year old. 

Red, White, and Blue

Today is Memorial Day.  I don't have much going on, since I'm sitting here quite immobile.  This has given me an opportunity to think about what this day means to me. 
I'm thankful to have been able to serve in the US Air Force.  Even if it was for just 2 years, I still said the oath and wore the uniform.  I met a lot of incredible people along the way.  I'm quite fortunate to still be in contact with most of those people today.  Almost everyone has been able to remain out of harms way.  I only know of 2 who haven't been so lucky.  There are a few others I knew who died, but only 2 who died over in Afghanistan. 
SGT A.J. Creighton and PO1 Chad Regelin are in my thoughts today.  I knew Creighton through mutual friends while stationed at the Presidio of Monterey and Goodfellow AFB.  Chad's death struck me a bit harder. 
My high school boyfriend was friends with Chad and his older brother, Ryan.  I first met Chad and his family during the 4th of July celebration at the Redding Convention Center.  Travis and I fell out of contact for a couple of years, but began dating again in 2002.  During the time that we dated, or the times we remained good friends, I saw Chad and his family frequently.  His mother is one of the sweetest people I have ever met.  Always so nice and friendly.  Through Facebook, I have been able to remain in communication with her and she would always talk about Chad's journeys and accomplishments.  In 2011, Chad was named the USO Sailor of the Year.  This was huge for their family.  Since Chad was deployed, his parents accepted the award on his behalf. 
I'm still trying to wrap my head around his death.  You know it can happen to any service member at any time while deployed.  I just never expected it to happen to anyone I knew, especially Chad or A.J.  It just breaks my heart to see what Chad's mother goes through everyday.  I especially want to thank the families of these service members on days like this.  Chad's family remain in my thoughts and prayers everyday.  
I don't necessarily feel like saying "Happy Memorial Day," so with that I say, enjoy your Memorial Day everyone.  But please, don't forget the reason we have this holiday and others like it.  While you are BBQing or celebrating however you see fit, please think of those who gave their lives for our country.  

5 Question Friday!!

1. Do you make your kids finish all the food on their plates?
- No. If they don't like it, they get a piece of bread with peanut butter.  They don't have to finish everything on their plates.  They usually do if they like what I make.

2. Do you give an allowance?
- They are almost 3 and 6, still pretty young for allowances.  Although I have thought about paying $1/week for good behavior and keeping her room clean.
3. Do you actually park your car in the garage?
- Apartment complex, I park under the carport.
4. What is one food you will NEVER cook?
- Mushrooms.  Won't eat them and certainly don't want to smell them.
5. Do you have anything exciting planned for the summer?
- First day of summer vacation, we are driving to California.  Planned: Family reunion/wedding, Giants game, amusement park (Six Flags Discovery Kingdom), and a trip to the Northern California coast.
The questions for 5QF can be found at: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

2 day streak

I haven't posted in forever it seems.  And this certainly isn't the first time I've fallen off the "blogging wagon."  I know I've been busy, but not busy enough.  Some pretty cool events have taken place (ie weight loss, husband's Army graduation, our trek to Missouri and back), so I'm not sure why I haven't written.  Last post was from my phone, today I'm on the laptop and they have REALLY changed Blogger around.  I do like the new setup, it will just take some time to get used to it. 
I do know I definitely became discouraged when it seemed like no one was reading the blog.  Yes, call me a big baby.  Now there are page views, I see people really were reading my blog. 
Maybe I'll start thinking of more interesting stuff to write about.  I still have a problem blogging the everyday things.  I feel like it isn't exciting enough.  Or once in a while I can capture a real thought provoking moment for myself. 
I used to write everyday when I was in high school, and not just because I had to either.  I did it because I genuinely loved to write.  I still do, it just doesn't seem to come to me like it used to. 
So, here is day 2 of blogging, let's see how this current streak will pan out.  Gotta log out and run off to Weight Watchers anyway!

Calgon, take me away!

Yes, please, take me away to the Pacific Northwest. It's been so long since I've been back there. I miss the weather, the people, and the culture. I fell in love with the area at a young age Someday I hope to take my own girls back to visit the area.
One of my favorite things about the area is the totems. I loved the carvings in the totems, and the huge Thunderbirds.
Someday I will go back, I'd rather go sooner than later.

Still hanging!

I suppose I was burnt on blogging there for a few weeks. Not a whole lot has changed. Husband is still gone, he's got a little over 4 weeks left. Girls are still growing and miss him terribly. I started Weight Watchers almost 3 weeks ago. In the first 2 weeks, I lost 9.4 pounds. Pretty incredible, I think. But I've been "off the wagon" for most of the weekend. Turning it all around this week though, or I hope to anyway. Anyway, gotta run, but I will blog more later!

Day 1.. again.

Current Relationship

Married.
Signed the certificate on July 22, 2005, even though it says July 23, 2005.
We didn't have a real wedding. We were engaged, talked about getting married. So that Friday we decided, why not? And went and picked up the marriage certificate. Our friend CJ went online and became an ordained minister. That evening it was signed. So this year will be year number 7. Can't believe we're now well on our way to hitting that 10 year mark!

I love him. I miss him. I can't wait to have my husband back home where he belongs. =o)

New 30 day blog challenge, coming soon!

1. Current Relationship
2. Where would I like to be in 10 years
3. Top 5 Pet Peeves
4. Views on Religion
5. Favourite Comfort Foods & Why
6. Zodiac Sign and Does It Fit?
7. Favourite Childhood Toys
8. A moment you felt most satisfied in your life.
9. If you would have any job in the world what would it be?
10. Your guilty pleasures
11. Put your Ipod (in my case iphone) on shuffle and write first 10 songs that pop up.
12. Bullet your whole day
13. Somewhere you would like to move/visit.
14. Earliest Memory
15. Write 15 interesting facts about yourself
16. Your views on mainstream music
17. Your highs and lows this last year
18. A book you could read over and over and never get sick of
19. Your biggest regret in life
20. How important you think education is
21. One of your favourite TV Shows
22. How have you changed the past 2 years
23. Post 3 pics of famous people you find attractive
24. Your favourite Movie & What its about.
25. Someone who fascinates you and why
26. If you had $1,000,000 to spend how would you spend it?
27. A problem you have or have had in the past.
28. Something that you miss
29. List 10 people dead or alive you would invite to dinner , include the menu.
30. Goals for the next 30 days!

Five Question Friday!

1. What do you do when you are really upset to calm yourself down?
~ Cry, play music, write, drive.. all just depends on how upset I am and why I'm upset.

2. Do you go all out for V-day or is it just another day?
~ It's pretty much just another day for us. He'll get me some flowers or chocolates and I just try to cook him a nice dinner and make it a pleasant evening.

3. Are you more or less productive when Hubs is away?
~ Usually I'm more productive, although this time I appear to be less productive. Being sick for nearly 3/4 weeks hasn't really helped either!

4. What is your favorite time of day and why?
~ My me time starts at 8 pm after I put the kids to bed. I usually talk with a friend, catch up on stuff on the DVR, do some housework, read.. whatever I feel like doing!

5. What is your go to karaoke song?
~ Bring On The Rain by Martina Mcbride =o)

http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

Day 30

A picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

This was actually taken Friday, still less than a week ago.

5 good things. Let's see.

1. I'm blogging way more than I was before.
2. Learned a little more about myself.
3. Pretty much sucked at keeping up with anything with almost daily repetition before this. There was a short week where I was not feeling like talking or anything, so I didn't blog.
Running out of ideas..
4. I got our tax return.. that's a good thing, right?
5. I'm writing more, here, letters to my husband, helping my daughter.. It makes me happy.

Day 29

3 Wishes

1. I wish my husband will call tonight. It's Valentine's they should be able to call their ladies.. plus it's been over a week since I talked to him.
2. I wish my mom can come out for my birthday next month. I miss her, and if I can't celebrate with my honey, I'd wanna celebrate with her.
3. I wish for the clening fairy to come and get my house ready for spring...

Day 28

Something that stresses you out.

Uncertainty or lack of control. Not necessarily because I'm a control freak either. I just don't like if I don't know what is to come. For instance, I haven't talked to my husband for a week, which I'm fine with. What I'm not fine with is not knowing if he went to the doctor or what is going on with his rib. Last I heard from him, all he told me is his ribs were bothering him after he fell and he's worried they'll push back his graduation date.
I want to start planning for his basic graduation and can't because I'm not sure if he's still injured. I hate this feeling.

Bug vs windshield effect

I've been in a bit of funk of sorts lately. I've just been trying to stay outside the house as much as possible the last week, haven't done the daily blog, and I've been a little anti-social.
I'm trying my hardest to cope after feeling like complete crap for nearly 3 weeks. Being sick is no fun, then being sick and having allergies that cause an asthma attack is pure hell. I have no idea why, but having my husband gone this time has been worse than any other time. Deployment was cake next to this, but we were also able to talk almost everyday when he was deployed. His letters are being delayed when they send them out, but he's getting mine right on time. The jackass kids in his platoon keep losing privileges for everyone, so they keep losing their Sunday phone privileges. Last time we talked on the phone he told me he got hurt and isn't sure if he'll be able to graduate on time. He said if that's the case, his graduation will most likely be postponed a month or month and a half. So I'm putting my plans to see him for graduation on hold until we know more. The uncertainty of it is bringing me down. I'm hoping they got him in to see a doctor this week so I should know more the next time he's able to call.
Things between us haven't exactly been all that great since he got back from Afghanistan in 2010. He admitted to it in his first letter. I've read that letter everyday since I got it. It just hasn't been the same since he left either. I've done dishes, laundry, and all the everyday stuff while he's been gone, but everything else is almost exactly how he left it. I'd really like to get started on my Spring cleaning, but I just have no desire to at all. So now I'm living in the chaos. Part of the reason why I haven't started is because this is the first week when I've actually felt somewhat decent. Before if I started doing stuff, I'd start hacking and coughing until my chest hurt. So, this week, I'll pull myself out of this funk this week and get things taken care of properly.

Day 27

Original Photo of the city you live in

Downtown Salt Lake City with the Wasatch mountains in the background.

Day 26

Your dream wedding.

My dream wedding...

I don't really have one. We never got married and I doubt we'll ever have any kind of vow renewal or anything. I thought we were going to once but we didn't have the money for what we wanted to do.

Day 25

Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

1. Neon Trees - Animal
2. Avenged Sevenfold - Fiction
3. Chevelle - Send the Pain Below
4. Toby Keith - Get Drunk and Be Somebody
5. Ke$ha - Blah Blah Blah
6. Buckcherry - Next 2 You
7. Toby Keith - Trailerhood
8. Tim McGraw - The Cowboy in Me
9. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away
10. The Doobie Brothers - Black Water

Day 24

Something you've learned

Recently? Kind of who my true friends are. I've tried to surround myself with people that are good for me, positive people.

I've learned patience truly is a virtue. Im trying to be patient with my daughters and everyday life. I'm trying to be patient every week when I wait to hear from the husband.

5 Question Friday

1. What have you done recently that you are proud of?
Recently? Hmm.. Honestly I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just being totally pessimistic right now. I have no idea. I'll get back to you on that one...

2. What is your favorite way to work out? Or if you don't workout, what are you wanting to try?
My favorite way to work out.. playing a sport. Softball or volleyball were my favorites!! Since that isn't exactly easy to do as an adult, I want to do TurboFire as soon as I'm back to 100% health.

3. If you knew you best friend was cheating on spouse would you tell?
Probably not. Not up to me. But it would definitely put a strain on things. Especially considering my best friend is like my sister and her husband is a good friend of ours.

4. If you could afford a live-in maid or nanny, would you have one?
A maid yes, WITHOUT a doubt! Nanny, no.. I need to be my children's mother. But a maid, I can be a good wife without having to clean allllll day haha.

5. Do you stress out about birthdays (specifically the age) or do you enjoy them?
I don't stress about my own birthdays at all. I just try to enjoy them because it could be my last =o) I do stress about my children's birthdays though. Mostly just planning them. Then as it gets closer I get excited. Day of I get really excited. I love how excited they get over stuff like that!

http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

Day 23

Favorite Movie

Step Brothers. I know almost every line.

Day 22

What's in your purse?

My black Steelers purse? What's in there.. hmmm... the last, few remaining gift cards from Christmas, lip gloss, notepad, pens, receipts, and a few cards. Like Subway, zoo membership, stuff like that.

Interesting because I don't really carry a purse much any more. Erin is growing, so if I need to bring diapers, I usually just keep some in the car with some wipes. No more diaper bag! I have all my important stuff in a little wallet I carry in my back pocket.

Day 21

Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?

This was the day we brought Shannon home from the hospital. I was exhausted, and guests didn't start to arrive yet. So baby Nanner and I snuck in a nap. The husband snuck in a picture. And I'm glad he did, it's one of my very favorites to this day. <3 my babies!

Day 20

Nicknames.

Before I start on the topic... I just realized I'm more than halfway done with this already. Time is flying!!

So, nicknames is the topic of the day. The one I've had the longest is Janie, next is Scooter. Name's Jane so Janie just kind of comes with the territory. Scooter came about when I became a toddler. I would scoot around rapidly in my little walker, so my parents started calling me Scooter. Janie Wanie/Janey Waney is another given to me by some friends in the military. Little Janie Bogue (LJB for short) is a nickname given to me by my best friend in high school.

Day 19

Something you miss.

Well, let's see, aside from my husband? Haha, I miss the country. I kind of dislike living in the milddle of the city. And living so close to other people. I do like living just minutes away from a grocery store. I don't miss driving 30 minutes round trip just to go to the store.

Day 18

Favorite Place to Eat

My favorite chain restaurant to eat at is Texas Roadhouse.

My favorite non-chain restaurant is Ruth's Diner outside of Salt Lake City.

Day 17

Something you're looking forward to.

A phone call. Something, anything. It's been kind of a rough last few days. The girls need a call from daddy, so do I. I miss him. At least when he was deployed we were able to talk more than this.

Yes, husband is in BCT for the Army until the middle of April. The time he's there will be as long as his deployment was to Afghanistan. Since August, I knew this week would come. And I tried to really mentally prepare myself.

I'm really looking forward to April though. When he can come back and we can actually go do things as a family. There will be better weather in April. It will almost be the wonderful spring time here in Salt Lake.

I'm looking forward to having my husband back. The day before he had to go to the hotel was a great day, even the day we took him to the hotel was awesome. So thinking of those days is making me miss him that much more.

Day 16

Dream house.

Today's post was actually quite easy to write. The explanation below is from a blog post of mine on May 17, 2010. Someone asked me once what my dream home would be. One night I thought about it real hard and came up with the idea below..

My perfect, completely paid for home would have 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Husband and I could share a bathroom, but I would want the girls to have separate ones so we wouldn't have to hear them complain about their sister taking too long. Like I said, that would be in my perfect world, haha. The house would have a living/family room, with a fireplace of course! I would have a huge kitchen with an island and all black appliances. Can't forget the tile flooring! Oh, the oven would have to be gas and not electric, since I have yet to master the art of cooking on an electric stove. Can't forget the HUGE master bathroom with the HUGE tub, and 2 sinks. You know, his and hers sinks, that way I don't have to clean his nasty sink. Guys are messy, they shave and stuff, and the hair gets everywhere, so gross! There would have to be a separate shower, big one too, with a little place to sit down. My mom's shower has one and it's great. Also, I want a little connecting to my bedroom that I could make into a reading room. Lots of windows for some natural light during the day, a chaise lounge, and a big comfy blanket to wrap myself up with while reading. The house would have to be all one floor too since I don't want to have to deal with stairs. I'm clumsy, and I could see it could be hazardous in my old age. Last but not least, the exterior... A deck would completely wrap around my little white house, with blue shutters. Azaleas and rose bushes would line the deck, if they could grow in that climate of course. That is the house where I imagine we could raise our girls, celebrate every holiday, grow old with the husband, and play with the grandkids....

Cinco Pregunta Viernes (5QF)

1. Do you swim in the winter?
I don't really swim during any season. Especially not winter.

2. Do you love or hate winter?
Depends. This Utah winter has been relatively mild. So I'm enjoying it this year. I dislike snow. It's wet and makes a huge, muddy mess. Especially in my home.

3. Do you put makeup/actual clothes on when you know you're going to be home all day with just family?
Let me put it this way, the day my husband left for Basic Training, so this Tuesday, I stayed in an oversized tshirt and pajama shorts, all day. Most days I get dressed, and it's even more rare if I put make up on, just to stay home all day.

4. How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage?
Sometime in high school, can't remember exactly when. I know it wasn't before I was 16.

5. How many ill calls in a 12 month period do you think are acceptable?
Ill calls? Like at work? Let's just say, if you are calling in once a week your ass should be fired. Maybe once a month?
If you are frequently calling in, using the same excuse (and have no family obligations), you either have a weak immune system and need to see a doctor or you really don't want to be there and should find a job you enjoy.

The questions for 5QF can be found at: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/

Day 15

Bible verse

Though I may not read much of it these days, I have one in mind. I don't have a favorite bible verse at all. So I chose the first one I ever learned/memorized. I was a little kid in Sunday School at Grace Community Church in Whitmore, CA. I went with my "Grandma" Dee. My dad's boss' wife, also one of the nicest women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Romans 5:8
New International Version (NIV)
8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Day 14

A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

This is about a year old, off by 2 weeks maybe, but a year nonetheless. That's me and a friend of mine from high school, Lesley. And I'm a few sheets to the wind here.

How I've changed.. Let's see here. Hair color is different. I still had a little blonde there, now it's completely natural. Gained a few pounds back. My attitude has definitely changed a bit. I was uncertain about a few things and most of which have seemed to completely work out.

Day 13

Goals

Ha. It's 11:15 at night and I'm just now writing this post. I've been putting it off ALL day.

1. Save up at least 2 months worth of pay or $7k.
2. Finally manage to put together my Home Management Binder.
3. Keep in touch with people better. It doesn't help that my home phone never manages to stay fully charged. My cell phone minutes are shared between 3 people, so I try to limit those. But between facebook and texting I should be better at it you'd think?
(11:30 Ahhhhhh!)
4. Get down to a goal weight and actually stay there this time.
5. Learn to sew.

For right now these are my goals. It's a new year, I didn't make any resolutions. Well, not really anyway. My husband just arrived at his Basic Training location a few hours ago. I need to work on me, I'm not making many goals or lists for it right this second, which is strange for me. I am starting a work out regimen next week. Other than that, I'm just taking it hour to hour, day to day, week to week.

Day 12

Something you don't leave the house without.

Wallet and keys mostly. Sometimes I do forget my cell even but it's a rare occurrence. And I usually take sunglasses or my driving glasses just in case.

Day 11

Favorite tv shows

Wow, I don't even know where to start.. I have quite a few. Bones, Desperate Housewives, Army Wives, Deadliest Catch (I've met and got an autograph from one of the captains), Teen Mom, Biggest Loser, Wife Swap, Grey's Anatomy, NCIS, Doctor Who, The League, Jersey Shore, Pioneer Woman, Iron Chef America, and Chopped on Food Network.. I think that's about it. I watch a lot of tv or have it on for background noise. Most of the time my stuff gets DVR'd and I just watch it at a later date.

Day 10

Something you're afraid of.

The dark. Have been since I was a kid. I can fall asleep in the dark just fine, just don't ask me to get up and go do anything in the middle of the night. When I was uber pregnant, I used to just go along and turn on every light in my path. Heaven forbid I walk in the dark and pee my pants..

Yes, I know this is odd. I'm almost 25 years old and would much rather stay in bed than get up in the middle of the night. Pretty much the only thing that can get me up is a screaming child.

5 Question Friday

1. Where do you hide the reeeally good snacks?
In the pantry in the hallway. Oh, on the really high shelf so my children can't get to them. I need to find a new hiding spot though, husband has found them.

2. Do u keep your vehicle clean or am I the only one who has things falling out of their van?
I try to. There may be a few miscellaneous trash items/wrappers. But I try not to keep anything major just lying around inside. Call me crazy, but I'm afraid if we were to ever get into a horrible wreck (heaven forbid), I don't want things flying around the car.

3. Have you ever been to Vegas?
Yes, twice actually, only once as a legal adult though. Someday it would be nice to go without the children!

4. Warm room light blankets or cold room warm snuggly blanket?
The frugal part of me is saying cold room, warm snuggly blanket.. But the real me says warm room while working on a light blanket.

5. What is the worst airplane/flying experience you've ever had?
Thank goodness there really haven't been any that come to mind. Of course flying with a child who has learned to walk and thinks she can walk anywhere she pleases, whenever she pleases isn't fun at all. One of the last trips on a plane has probably been the worst experience. I had a crying 5 year old who was done traveling and a 2 year old who was quite insistent upon being set free to run.

5QF questions can be found at http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/.

Day 9

A favorite picture of your best friend

My best friend is on the right. I like this one because she's actually smiling. Most of the time in pictures, she just gives you the look like "why the hell are you taking my picture..."

Shawna is pretty cool, I think. We've been friends for almost 5 years. Believe it or not, I've only seen her in person once, after we had been talking for 3 years.

I used to be active on a website called Cafemom. We started talking on that website and on an online game. Then we started texting each other almost every day.

Being in the military, I've made a lot of friends. Some I don't talk to as much and some I'll probably never see again. Shawna is the best friend I've ever had. Nothing has ever kept us from talking for any more than a week at most. One of the things I love most about her is her honesty. I can ask her any question or give her any scenario and she will tell me exactly what she thinks, feels, knows, whatever. We've never fought or exchanged harsh words.

Someday it would be nice to live in the same state as each other, it'd be even better if it was the same town. But I know that no matter what she'll always be there for me, and I'll always be there for her.

Down for the count

This so sucks. I was on such a roll. I was decluttering, throwing stuff out, donating things, and rearranging the apartment. And some strange virus has knocked me flat on my butt. This couldn't have come at the most inopportune time. The husband leaves in less than 5 days now and I have SO much to do.

We're in the process of trying to get Erin into the spare room. There are boxes everywhere. Needless to say I'm looking forward to tax return so I can buy another bookshelf and maybe a few more storage bin type options.

But I pretty much spent most of today on my butt or back. I just feel wiped. 2 o'clock rolled around and I just felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open any more. Thank goodness Erin went down for a nap, I was able to get one in as well.

Day 8

A place you've traveled to.

I've been to quite a few places, but none truly stand out in my memories like Carcassonne, France. It's a fortified town in the south of France, but I just call it a castle. It became a fortification during the 5th century A.D.

We stayed in a hotel inside the fortified town. I thought it was one of the coolest things ever. One day we went shopping. Another day we went on a tour around the outer walls of the city, we even got to see where they had the dungeon. We also spent some time at the museum inside the town as well. If I remember correctly it was a type of "torture" museum. It had many different things used for torturing people around the time of the Inquisition. There were some really messed up devices inside the museum. But it was definitely one of the most interesting museums I've ever seen.

I still have the necklace I bought there. It's a Celtic Pisces pendant. My mom and I still talk about that trip to this day. It was towards the last leg of a 3 week excursion in France with my mom and grandma.

Day 7

Favorite movies

Oh man! There are so so so so, so many! One of my all time favorites in the comedy division is Step Brothers. I go back and forth with my best friend and husband quoting that movie.

I guess my favorite action type movie would be Watchmen. It's one of those comic book type movies, but I LOVE it. It has one of my favorite actors in it as well, Jeffrey Dean Morgan aka Denny Duquette.

For a romance type movie, Dear John. It tugs at the heart strings a little. Nicholas Sparks realllyyy knows how to make a girl cry. And I'm not going to lie, Channing Tatum is a total babe, especially in an Army uniform.

Some other close favorites are Talladega Nights, We Were Soldiers, Boondock Saints, Hot Fuzz, Super Troopers, Julie & Julia, Remember the Titans, Walk the Line, The Life Aquatic, and Royal Tannenbaums.

Honestly, I have way too many favorites. I can flip through the movie channels and find something to watch at any given time. Maybe my favorites change from week to week. So, these are my favorites for the moment.

Day 6

A picture of something that makes you happy

This is one of my favorite pictures. It has all my favorite people in one picture. This is just after the Dumbo ride at Disneyland last year. It was our very first trip to "the happiest place on earth." I took soo many pictures, but this is definitely one of my favorites.

Day 5

A song to match your mood.

Well.. It started off with "The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars." I pretty much just wanted to stay in my pajamas and crochet. Then I realized I had laundry to do, but I had to go to the store for fabric softener. So I got to doing the laundry and ended up reorganizing half my bedroom plus a closet. My plans for being lazy were pretty much foiled.

I guess the song to match my mood now would be "I Wanna Be Sedated." I'm tired, bedtime can't come soon enough.

Day 4

My parents.

Well, I'm very blessed to say I have 3 of them. My mom and dad were married in 1981, 5 1/2 years later I was born.

My mom was from Hillsborough/Burlingame, California. She went to UC Santa Barbara, then moved up to Northern California. My dad was from Whitmore, CA. They were together until 1992. A few years later my mom moved in with my step dad. They were married in 1996.

After my dad died, it still took a few years before my relationship with my step dad changed. We get along so well now. He's now "dad" to me and "papa" to my girls.

I think I am fortunate to have grown up with 3 parents. I learned a lot from each one, and I have a wonderful family who has claimed me as one of their own.

Day 3

My first love... Travis Crowell. I was 12 when I first met him and was in love with him til I was 18.

He was my first real boyfriend. We dated for over a year when I was 16. I broke up with him shortly after my junior year started. But we remained good friends until we both got married.

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

Hmm.. "Out of touch with reality," the meaning behind it? I honestly don't remember. Maybe I need to make a new one?

Maybe I just felt I was out of touch with my own sense of reality? Oh I suppose I can only imagine. I do like this reality though. It's not always perfect or pleasant, but it's my reality and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Reality is only what you make it. If not you would just exist in a fantasy world.

5 Question Friday!

1. What's the last thing you bought for yourself?
Yesterday, I got new workout clothes and a new outfit for date night tomorrow night! I think both choices were good investments.

2. What is your favorite meal on a cold winter day?
I actually have to think about this for a minute.. recently discovered I can make a pretty awesome potato soup. But I also love a recipe from Campbell's, it's called Cornbread Chicken Pot Pie. It's one of my favorite things to make and eat!

3. Have you started looking at swimsuits for this year, and do you buy a new one every year?
NO WAY! And no. No way would I possibly look at swimsuits right now. I'd much rather have bamboo shoots shoved underneath my fingernails.

4. If you could be any candy, what would you be and why?
Chocolate just sounds too generic. And since I'm addicted to them right now.. I'd say hot tamales. Hot Tamales are an acquired taste. Not every likes them. To some they are just too hot =o)

5. What are you most passionate about?
The military, military families. I really don't have too many other things I'm absolutely passionate about. Last week someone I went to high school with died, also spent a lot of time with his family in high school (my high school boyfriend's family are best friends with his). I discovered Westboro Baptist Church was coming to town for the funeral and I was thoroughly angered by this. I was in tears, ranting to my husband.

Bonus: What is your favorite thing to "pin" on Pinterest?
Ummm, anything and everything? Haha! I absolutely love looking at the Home Decor tab.. I have so many plans for the house we have yet to purchase. Someday though!

Today's questions could be found on: http://www.katesworldbykate.blogspot.com/

Day 1, 30 Day Challenge

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

I'm Jane. I'm an Army wife, mother of 2 girls, daughter, and friend to many. I'll be a quarter of a century in exactly 2 months.

Random Facts:
1. I turned 18 years old while in Basic Training for the Air Force.
2. I know how to operate a backhoe and other forms of heavy machinery.
3. I learned to crochet a year ago and I'm addicted.
4. My biggest pet peeve is misspelled words.
5. I'm a mild hoarder.
6. I'm extremely neurotic and a bit of a control freak, kind of goes hand in hand.
7. I love guns, shotguns are my favorite.
8. Jersey Shore is one of my favorite guilty pleasures.. fist pump!!!!
9. I love sports, watching them, playing them, everything about sports.
10. I play World of Warcraft.. and I have played since January 2007.
11. I don't like to cook much, but I love to bake.
12. I have ADD, didn't discover I had it until my then 4 year old daughter was diagnosed. I was 23.
13. I hunt and fish, but hunting is more fun.
14. I'm not artistic at all.
15. I absolutely hate to run.

Rules of the 30 Day Challenge

Only general rule is to post once a day or at the very least every other day.

Here is a list of the days. If you'd like, take the list and do the challenge yourself! Make sure you at least let me know that you are starting it so I can follow your journey too!

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

2012

First post of 2012.

New blog background.

46 posts in 2011. 59 in 2010. Let's see if I can beat those numbers combined in 2012. Hoping to get more readers, better blog posts, and learn a little more about myself and my family.

Stay tuned!!