I'm seriously in a funk, I need to get out of it. I try to leave the house as much as possible to keep me happy or whatever. Well, when I'm home, I do some chores, and cook dinner. But for the most part I'm wrapped up in the computer. Whether it be World of Warcraft or just something totally random.

I feel like a horrible parent, to Shannon mostly. Not feeling like too bad of a wife. He has clean clothes and food. But I haven't been going out of my way to do just about anything for anyone. Plus I have been shopping like a mad woman lately. Either I need new pants (which I kind of did) or I have been buying food I don't really need. I know it's going to catch up to me, one way or another.

Been having dreams about either my father or me just walking aimlessly in the house I grew up in. I have NO idea why. I wasn't even there for the fire, it's no longer "my house." But, it's torturing me.

I think part of my problem is technology. I wanna try going a weekend without logging onto the computer. I can check some stuff from my phone. But I need to just unplug my laptop and put it away for a weekend. I need to start with the basics, fix them, then move on. I need to clean my house and just spend some time with my husband and children. Especially Shannon! Poor kid has barely got any kind of normal conversation from me lately. I just keep getting constantly annoyed with her.

She's such a sweet kid and doesn't deserve it at all. She doesn't need a mom who is just trying to escape reality all the time. Omg, there is so much on my mind! This is probably just a whole cluster of sentences. I don't know, I just need some time for reflection, then I will update. I need to get out of this funk! I will check this again tomorrow, then decide if I'm anti technology or not. I will still have my cell around, so I will always take texts. I think it would help if I talked more. I've been avoiding just about everyone!