Being a military, now Army, wife, I can't help but sometimes feel like I'm living in the shadows of my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love him, and I love our life, but sometimes I just feel less than adequate. Now let me explain before I start being misunderstood..
Part of me wants a part time job or SOMETHING outside of the home. When we were living on base I never felt this way. I always felt like I was living in a community of people just like myself. Not living on base is MUCH different, and to be honest, I don't like it all that well. Anyway, in order to have a part time job, we would need a second car and extra finances to keep the 2 year old in day care while the 5 year old is in school, and she's only going to be in school 3 hours a day. So, that's out of the question! Option number 2, which we've tried off and on a few times, I go to work after he gets home or on the weekends. This left us with almost no time with each other, and he didn't like it much. Especially during the week.
It just sucks because I look at some of these military wives who seem to do it all. I honestly think part of it is because I've lost part of who I was and I'm having a hard time getting "me" back. I felt so empowered last year while he was deployed. My house was perfect, kids were happy and healthy, I was working out like 2 times a day (once a day at the gym). So, call me horrible, but I'm kind of looking forward to the husband leaving for Basic Training so I can get that back for a few weeks.
1 comment:
I completely understand where you are coming from. I have recently been feeling less than adequate, too. I finally decided to take Fridays as "me" days since Patrick isn't working those days. I leave the house when I take Lorelei to school and I don't come home until they are in bed. I have been going to a library and writing because it has always been something I have wanted to do. I hope you can find something that will help you feel better!
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