Short, sweet, and to the point...

I've definitely been drinking a big 'ol cup of Instant Bitch every morning for the last 2 days or so. At one point yesterday I had to completely avoid facebook to keep from going off on someone every 5 seconds. Things that normally don't annoy me are just setting me off left and right.
I feel horrible, but one of the things really starting to bug me is breastfeeding. After last night with Erin, I'm officially over it. I'm SO ready to just be done, but she's not. I'm lucky if I can get her to drink out of a sippy cup once every few days. My allergies kept me up until around 1 last night, and Erin woke me up at least every hour as well. I just wish I could stop it cold turkey, today. I keep telling myself, "yay, you made it to a year, be happy about it." But, I'm just so ready to have the ladies back, I'm done sharing!
Here's to hoping the day changes from suck-tastic to fabulous ASAP...

I just need 5 minutes for me...

I LOVE reading and responding to my comments! Love it! I try to respond back in comment form as quick as I can. Sometimes, I like to respond to a comment or comments in a post, this is one of those instances.
Julie - You left a comment on my first 5QF post, I started to reply with a comment, but I felt like there wouldn't be enough room. You wanted to know where this totally paid for house of mine would be located...
I would have to say northwestern Oregon or if I had a second choice, anywhere along the Washington coast. I am absolutely in love with the Pacific northwest. I have been since I was a little girl. Any big trip we took usually started off in Oregon, then we would travel into Washington. I loved reading and hearing stories about the local Native American tribes and all the totem poles. I was way into that stuff as a kid.
Those locations would also be less than a days drive away from my family. So, if they needed anything, I could still be there the same day. I guess I would love to be close but not TOO close. ;0)
My perfect, completely paid for home would have 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Husband and I could share a bathroom, but I would want the girls to have separate ones so we wouldn't have to hear them complain about their sister taking too long. Like I said, that would be in my perfect world, haha. The house would have a living/family room, with a fireplace of course! I would have a huge kitchen with an island and all black appliances. Can't forget the tile flooring! Oh, the oven would have to be gas and not electric, since I have yet to master the art of cooking on an electric stove. Can't forget the HUGE master bathroom with the HUGE tub, and 2 sinks. You know, his and hers sinks, that way I don't have to clean his nasty sink. Guys are messy, they shave and stuff, and the hair gets everywhere, so gross! There would have to be a separate shower, big one too, with a little place to sit down. My mom's shower has one and it's great. Also, I want a little connecting to my bedroom that I could make into a reading room. Lots of windows for some natural light during the day, a chaise lounge, and a big comfy blanket to wrap myself up with while reading. The house would have to be all one floor too since I don't want to have to deal with stairs. I'm clumsy, and I could see it could be hazardous in my old age. Last but not least, the exterior... A deck would completely wrap around my little white house, with blue shutters. Azaleas and rose bushes would line the deck, if they could grow in that climate of course.
That is the house where I imagine we could raise our girls, celebrate every holiday, grow old with the husband, and play with the grandkids....

Confession time..

It's driving me completely nuts. I didn't realize just how unhappy I am in Utah until I returned home I am hoping it will get better once we get out of our current apartment complex. I know for a fact things would be better if we just had our own house. I want the girls to have a place of their own to run around. If we had an actual house, they would have an entire backyard. Having my husband gone makes me hate being in Utah just a little more.
Since my vacation started, I haven't had to force myself to get out of bed in the mornings. I have been up before 8 everyday since I left. I'm also in bed before 11 every night! I'm really trying not to be so negative about Salt Lake, but it is SO hard!
You know, it really would be great to get a home soon. But, I want to live outside of the actual city and the husband pretty much wants to live in the middle of the city.
I feel so at peace here. I haven't been my usual "Negative Nancy" self. I feel so conflicted about all of this. I have told Warren how unhappy I am, and that I keep trying to find new things to do or other ways to distract myself. But, I'm at the point now where I almost feel as if I'm forcing myself to like Utah. I understand it's our "home" now, and it's where we will be for at least the next few years. On the inside, I'm hoping we will move someday soon and only ever have to come back to visit...

Totally forgot it's Friday!

5QF #2!
1. What is your worst memory of your siblings?
None, because technically, I don't have any.

2. What was YOUR naughtiest childhood memory (Must be something YOU did, no pawning it off on someone else!)?
Ooo, I was bad.. I once smothered the cat with a pillow. She still went on to live a few more years. I knew it was something I shouldn't have been doing, but I still did it anyway. She was such a good cat too...

3. Where do you like to go to relax?
Whenever mommy needs a "time out," I like to go to my room and just lay on the bed and kind of think over things. Another one, I like to just get into the car and drive. It doesn't matter where, driving relaxes me.

4. What was the last thing you won?
I honestly don't remember. We never do drawings or auctions or anything. But, the most favorite thing I ever won was a trip to Disneyland in 5th grade.

5. If you could be on a game show, which would you choose?
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? - I ROCK at those questions, haha. Plus I think Jeff Foxworthy is a hoot.

I just want to..

Write. It's all I want to do. I can't think of a single job out there in the "real world" that appeals to me. I don't want to have anything to do with shift work. I want to go to college and study the English language. Maybe take a few photography classes while I'm at it.
My dream job consists of traveling the world with my laptop and camera so I can see fantastic places, write about them, and take pictures.
I don't want to sit at a desk. I don't want to do anything with retail.
I just want to write.