Just..... thoughts

We leave for California in 2 days. I really should be doing something other than farting around on the computer. I really have no desire to do anything unrelated to the trip. All I want to do is pack or organize stuff to get ready for the trip. I don't want to clean, I don't want to cook. I want to be on the plane already!! With that being said, I have also been texting Allie most of my morning as well. She said something and it totally sparked something inside of me. I just totally need to get it off my chest!
I strongly believe in living together before you get married. Seriously, and I'm not just talking about sex here either. I believe it's important to see if you can coexist compatibly. Some people just CANNOT live together. My mom and dad were pretty much a prime example of this. They became the best of friends after they no longer lived under the same roof. Warren and I have both talked about how we wish we could have been able to live together before actually tying the knot. It took us probably close to 3 years before we finally felt like a cohabiting couple.
Anyway! My friend is living with her boyfriend of 3 years. Her family is fine with it, his isn't, it happens. So, they have now been living under the same roof for about a year now. And they've definitely had their ups and downs with it. It doesn't help the situation any having all their close friends in another state! I know exactly what that's like. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is, I think what they are doing is perfectly acceptable. They aren't even talking about marriage until they are both graduated from college. So many people nowadays just get married to be married already. Warren has a friend who has been married to his wife now for over a year, and they are still living with his mother.
If you are going to get married, I'm all for having your ducks in a row before hand. Have a house set up, have steady jobs that will support whatever lifestyle you hope to sustain. So many people just rush into a marriage and don't know who they are really marrying or what the future holds for them. There is no better way to find this kind of stuff out than if you make a decent attempt to set up shop.
Plenty of people may not agree with me on this. I needed to write it down somehow just to get it all out of my head. Or else poor Allie would have just heard all about it in numerous texts! And I didn't want to do that to her.

It's amazing what nostalgia can make you realize!

I got a chance to write a TON in my new journal this evening. I was in the section where it asked a lot about my childhood. And it got me thinking about a lot and I got totally nostalgic.
I used to LOVE playing outside. I would ride my bike as much as possible. If I was inside, I was playing games like "restaurant" or "school." Yes, I would line up all of my stuffed animals and either teach them. Or turn them all into waiters/waitresses and people eating at my restaurant. I used to write up little menus and everything! I loved having my younger cousin around. I am technically an only child, so whenever my cousin was around, I was happy! I never watched much tv. A) dad was always in control of the remote or B) I had much more important things to do.
Anyway, what writing tonight really got me thinking about was how AWESOME it is for me to have a second childhood through/with my girls! And how much they would probably love to be able to remember me being totally active with them and their activities. I mean, we don't get to be kids again, but most of us are at least given the opportunity to be able to enjoy our child(rens) childhood!
With technology nowadays, it makes it a helluva lot easier for parents to become lazy. I'm totally guilty of it. I will be one of the first to admit to using the tv as a babysitter, even for Erin sometimes. Sometimes it just seems easier to throw something into Shannon's dvd player. Yes, my 3 year old has a tv and dvd player in her room. But, I'm happy to say she has never been one to be able to strictly sit down and watch a movie. She's so creative! She will either draw or have a tea party with animal or even build amazing castles and towers with her legos. Video games, don't even get me started on video games. My husband, I swear, has more video games than we have movies, combined! He said it all started when their uncle gifted them a playstation when they were kids. I never even sat down and seriously played a video game until 3 years ago. I can honestly say, I would be beyond happy if my girls never find an interest in them.
Anyway, tired of ranting about that. I just want my kids to be able to write in their journals someday and have memories of being able to play together or even with Warren and I. Maybe this is something I can add to my New Years resolution. Yes, I'm actually going to compile resolutions this year! And it looks like I can start with "become my children's best friend.."

I plucked my eyebrows, and now they hurt..

Last night was the family get together at my in-law's since we are going to be in California for Christmas. We drew names for gifts about on Thanksgiving. Warren got an Axis and Allies game, and I got this totally awesome, hardbound journal. It's not a blank pages type though. It's one of those "about me" types. In a post back in August I wrote about a "Listography" journal I got. It's similar to that one, yet completely different. Last night I called it a "myspace survey in journal form."
Sometimes I just have such a hard time thinking of something to write about. Those journals are easy when I just feel like writing and I'm too lazy to think of a topic.
Holy cow! We leave for California in 5 days! I feel so unprepared and somewhat overwhelmed. I want to do a deep clean in most of the apartment before we leave. So far it doesn't look like it's going to be completed. Maybe 80% will be done. I hope to have most all laundry done by tomorrow as well. I always seem to procrastinate before a trip. Then I get all stressed and flustered.
So Warren and I ordered a purple, 16gb Ipod Nano for mom yesterday. One of her Xmas presents. We are going to load it up with Beatles and Led Zeppelin, maybe some other stuff too. I also bought her the new Stephen King book. I CANNOT wait to see the look on her face.
I really haven't been a big fan of Xmas since my father died. I just can't seem to "get into the holiday spirit." The only reason I can manage to show an ounce of excitement is for the girls and my mom. I'm so glad Warren is like me and doesn't try to force me into liking it either. And I have never celebrated the religious aspect of the holiday either. I actually think I wrote an entry about Christmas last year too.. Oh well. I better get off the computer and watch more tv or something unproductive. It's almost 9 pm anyway. We have decided to start being productive tomorrow..

Holy buckets, Batman!

Today, my husband came home from work, and instead of just asking him about his day or making minimal conversation. I had to vent. I felt awful about it. One of my ticks is just like out of a 1940s advertisement for the "perfect wife," in the way that I want him to come home to a non-chaotic environment. I want to give him time to unwind or get settled before telling him about my day or whatever "big news" I may have. But, today was totally different.
One of the first things out of my mouth was "I'm depressed.." I've been noticing some of these totally awesome things friends of mine are doing or accomplishing. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love my life, but sometimes I feel like I'm just another dot on the radar. So, I told him this. His response was something along the lines of "you are doing something great. You are being a wife and a mom while I'm out there saving American lives." I never realized how much credit he actually gave me. It definitely made me feel a little bit better. Granted, neither of us feel like the only great thing I can accomplish is being a mother or a wife. He is behind me with whatever new career choice I bring to light. Because he knows I will back him up with whatever he chooses to pursue as well.
I love our relationship. I love how we seem to equal each other out. I knew there was a reason I married this man. He is a great husband, father, Airman, and partner in this crazy thing called life.

Tuesday's gone with the wind...

Today was a helluva day.. Woke up at my normal 10 am, then immediately got the girls ready for the day, which doesn't happen very often. Shannon will spend most of her time in whatever she wore to bed, I will change her if we need to go anywhere. Seriously, why fuss? It's just more laundry I would end up having to do.. lol. Anyway, we got ready and were on our merry way to Wal Mart.
Wal Mart was PACKED, even at 10 am on a weekday. I got diapers, stuff for wrapping, and the toy for Shannon's Christmas party today. I did it in about 30 minutes too, which is definitely a record for me! Well, I got everything up to the self checkout, checked out, and walked away, very rapidly passed the McDonald's. Even at 10, Shannon will beg me for a happy meal. Once I got home I realized I bought everything but the wrapping paper, I left it on the conveyor belt. It's totally me, I tend to find a way to forget at least one thing when shopping!
Once Shannon was off to school, I headed to do my grocery shopping. I went to Winco, as usual. I LOVE Winco, I swear it is like the Mecca of grocery stores! It may be a little cluttered and sometimes disheveled, but AMAZING. And cheaper than Wal Mart to boot!
Other than my fantastic day of grocery shopping, I'm beyond excited about my trip to California in 9 days. It will be the first time Warren has been back home with us since '06. I really wish he would come back with us more often. I wish he could have the kind of relationship with some of my family members that I have with some of his. All in due time I guess. Things seem to be the best they've been in a while between him and my mom at least, and I'm so grateful for that.
Today while shopping all I could think about was the trip. I am going to have to start my packing lists and everything here soon. MOM, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU! Until next time...

I might have something to say..

I'm very excited to announce in ten days, we will be home for the holidays. I can't believe it has been 6 months since I've seen my mom. That is probably the longest I have ever gone not seeing her. It's been almost a year since I have seen the rest of my family. I'm very excited to see Kim and Allie as well. You guys really are great friends, and I'm glad you have stuck by me the last 7/8 years.
Today I was really slacking on the everyday life duties. I was on the computer almost ALL day. I kept checking the news article on my mom to see every new comment, and if I needed to respond to anyone. This article really has spurred something inside me again. I LOVE to write. I have always loved to write and I feel I'm particularly good at it. So, as much as I would like to teach English, I would much rather like to pursue something along the lines of Journalism, or some form of public writing. I don't feel I have a creative bone at the moment for any kind of book or short story writing, maybe children's books. ;o) You never know though, I may get into some creative writing class in school and be able to do it. As a kid, I used to love writing plays in hopes of having my friends being the actors. We'll see though, I seem to change my feelings on career choices as much as I change my underwear.
Anyway, I'm hoping the rest of the night will continue to improve. This day has been pretty rough. Erin is a night owl and insists on staying awake until at least 1 in the morning. Luckily Shannon likes to sleep in! In a period of an hour and a half, Shannon was in time out 4 times for periods of at least 3 minutes each time. I'm hoping both will go down relatively early tonight. Tomorrow is Shanon's Christmas party at school and I have to find a small gift and wrap it before 1230! Lately, I haven't even been getting out of bed until 10 am!
Well, I think that's enough for now. Hope to write more later, possibly at some awful hour later tonight, or maybe sometime tomorrow. Happy Holidays!

Midnight is approaching..

I think I may have a way of getting out of this "funk." I have to keep myself as busy as I can possibly be. No more staying up and getting up late either. I'm finding myself thinking about entirely too much if I stay up late too. Mom is doing good, but I'm still terribly worried about her. But I will be with my family in exactly one month! So excited!

So, the girls and I have had the weirdest sinus issues lately. Shannon has had a hacking cough. Erin has had eye goobers and congestion. I have had congestion, itchy throat, watery, red eyes, and weird sinus headaches. My vertigo seemed to pick back up today too. Thinking of calling the doctor tomorrow if it doesn't seem better. I had the idea it was linked to the moldy hole in our hallway ceiling. Tomorrow I have full intentions of tidying up the bathrooms. I don't want to have any possible reason as to why mold should be accumulating or breeding in this apartment lol.

I just want to stick with the basics, then I want to go into full de-clutter mode. If I have to spend most of my time inside this winter, I don't want to stare at a mess. Especially since we will be here until at least August. Besides, the more I can possibly do, the better. Definitely want to keep my mind of stuff. Last night I couldn't fall asleep, then when I fell asleep, I couldn't stay asleep. I was worried about the girls. Then just kept thinking about my mom. I can't believe she has nothing, I don't have any idea of what she's going through.

Anyway, Erin is fussing. I will write more later, it helps get stuff off my chest and what not. Maybe this will help with some of my personal stuff.

8 months!

My husband still totally surprises me sometimes! Anyway, before I get too ahead of myself.. My mom had the idea the other night of one weekend in July her and my step dad should do vow renewals, and Warren and I should too. She has little to no wedding pictures left, and I think it would be a great idea for them! Also, Warren and I never even had a wedding. We just jumped the gun and signed the certificate!

Last Saturday I called her in tears after my friend's wedding reception. It was so beautiful and simple, I loved it! I was on my way home and it hit me hard, I never had that father-daughter dance. And it killed me the rest of the weekend to even think about it! So, my mom thought it would be a great idea, and I could still get my dance with my step dad.

So, I brought up the idea to Warren. I also reminded him how we talked about doing something like this for our 5th anniversary shortly after we were married. Well, our 5th anniversary just happens to be this July. Anyway, he seemed kind of uninterested and kind of apprehensive to the idea. Today, he TOTALLY surprised me. Out of nowhere he tells me how his good friends are on board and ready for next July.

July 2010, in beautiful Lake Tahoe, I will finally have a small ceremony with some of our closest friends and at least my mom and dad. I'm SO excited! Seriously, it's going to be the best anniversary. Anyway, going to try to go to bed now, I have to be up in a little over 5 hours, ah!!

I'm seriously in a funk, I need to get out of it. I try to leave the house as much as possible to keep me happy or whatever. Well, when I'm home, I do some chores, and cook dinner. But for the most part I'm wrapped up in the computer. Whether it be World of Warcraft or just something totally random.

I feel like a horrible parent, to Shannon mostly. Not feeling like too bad of a wife. He has clean clothes and food. But I haven't been going out of my way to do just about anything for anyone. Plus I have been shopping like a mad woman lately. Either I need new pants (which I kind of did) or I have been buying food I don't really need. I know it's going to catch up to me, one way or another.

Been having dreams about either my father or me just walking aimlessly in the house I grew up in. I have NO idea why. I wasn't even there for the fire, it's no longer "my house." But, it's torturing me.

I think part of my problem is technology. I wanna try going a weekend without logging onto the computer. I can check some stuff from my phone. But I need to just unplug my laptop and put it away for a weekend. I need to start with the basics, fix them, then move on. I need to clean my house and just spend some time with my husband and children. Especially Shannon! Poor kid has barely got any kind of normal conversation from me lately. I just keep getting constantly annoyed with her.

She's such a sweet kid and doesn't deserve it at all. She doesn't need a mom who is just trying to escape reality all the time. Omg, there is so much on my mind! This is probably just a whole cluster of sentences. I don't know, I just need some time for reflection, then I will update. I need to get out of this funk! I will check this again tomorrow, then decide if I'm anti technology or not. I will still have my cell around, so I will always take texts. I think it would help if I talked more. I've been avoiding just about everyone!

2 months is too long!

Wow! 2 months since my last post, I'm bad.

October was definitely interesting. Warren started at his new position in Draper. He loves it and he is so happy to be back on days. Now we are just hoping they will keep him at that location and not try to send him to either Ogden or Orem. Besides that, there really wasn't much new with us in October. Halloween was a blast! Erin was a zebra and Shannon was a princess. (I will post pictures when I can find my camera!) So, those were the high points to the month.

Sadly, the parts of October that really stick out to me are not so great. In the middle of October, my father-in-law crashed on I-215 when he was coming back from a hunting trip. Totalled his truck and trailer. The trailer got loose and flipped the truck upside-down on top of the barrier, but it ended up on the road, still upside-down. Luckily, he walked away perfectly fine. He just had some neck pains, but that was all. He still looks a little stiff, but hey, who wouldn't after a wreck like that?!

The second event was my parent's house burning down. (bivinfamily.blogspot.com) That has seemed to have us all thrown for a loop! It's been 2 weeks now since it happened, and my mom is doing WAY better than I thought she would at this point. Soon, they will have a brand new truck and new mobile home on the property. So excited for them! I am SO in love with the new kitchen. It has a "bar" like the old one had and an island! So jealous, but so happy that my mom finally gets an island in her kitchen. Their bedroom will also have a little room attached to it. I think it would be a perfect room for a chaise lounge and a few good books. But for now, they want to make it easily accessible for a place for the grandkids to sleep. So thoughtful of them, they really are amazing (grand)parents.

Anyway! I will update again later, I promise. I have been playing ENTIRELY too much World of Warcraft. So what? I'm a geek, and I'm proud of it! I am starving here and there are sloppy joes on the stove with my name on 'em!

It has been exactly a year since I found out we were going to be bringing our lovely miss Erin into the world. She is such a wonderful and happy baby. I love having her as a snuggling partner every night. I am so blessed to have this little girl part of our family. As to whether or not she is the one to complete our little family, I still have no idea. Somedays I say yes and some I say no. I LOVE being a mommy to 2 girls though, 2 May babies! They are so alike yet so different at the same time. I am SO lucky to be the mommy of Shannon and Erin.

Today was Shannon's first day of Preschool. She loved it!! Sorry, the pictures are in reverse order. Still trying to get the hang of this thing! Anyway, she was quite anxious to start and was not sad to see me go. But, when I picked her up, she couldn't get to me soon enough to show me her pictures. I'm so excited for her. She seemed to love it. Thursday they are going to have a "Teddy Bear picnic" and she gets to bring in her favorite stuffed animal. Then, they all have a picnic in the back of the school.

We also found out today, Warren got the job he applied for! It's still with the Guard, but just not on the base. I'm excited for him. It will be nice to have him working days again. He will probably be starting after the 1st of next month. I'm just happy for both my big girl and my amazing husband!

I hate that it's only Wednesday. This week is just dragging by, but maybe that's a good thing. Next week is going to be pretty intense for us. Shannon starts her preschool Tuesday. It's 2.5 hours a day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She's so excited. She had the open house/back to school night for it tonight. We kind of rushed through things, she wanted to get out and play, so I didn't get to take any pictures. Warren even came tonight. He even dressed up, meaning he put on a polo shirt. It was a nice day.
Anyway, I really don't know what to write about. Erin is starting to be grumpy anyway. So, maybe I will try again tomorrow!

Holy cow! I actually have some free time, with both hands, to type out a blog. Let's see how long I can write for before one of the 2 children has a conniption! Joking! Well, kind of, it's mostly true though. And I say that in the nicest, loving way possible. Anyway! Today was pretty uneventful.
Last night I went out with Sandra and Julie for Sandra's last GNO before she moves to Hawaii. We went to dinner and then a movie. Saw the Proposal for the second time, it is just as good the second time around. And Ryan Reynolds is just as adorable the second time too!
Today I took the girls to Barnes and Nobles. Sandra got this "listography" journal as a gift last night. And it looked awesome, so I had to go get one. It's like journaling topics you answer in list form. Awesome! Until it asked the question, "what's the most ackward place you've had sex?" or something along those lines. With that being said, there are a few topics in there I may not answer. I don't want my kids or grandkids reading that stuff when they go through my belongings someday! For the most part, it's an awesome journal though. You can go to listography.com to see more about it.
Wow, Erin is starting to fuss a little already, so I better hurry. To end the day, we had dinner at Warren's parents house. She made this yummy, yummy lasagna! Then the women of the family decided we were going to try to go see Star Trek at the dollar theater. Totally sold out, major bummer! But, we got ice cream instead which totally made up for it. Warren and the rest of the gang went to the 9:30 showing while the girls and I headed home for some much needed quiet, "let's watch some Little Einsteins" time.
Anyway, the day was really nice. Warren and I had a little misunderstanding about the whole Star Trek thing and if he was going or not. He thought I didn't want him going, and I just wanted him to tell me if he was going so I could come home and get stuff done so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow! He was very supportive, even said he would rub my feet when he got home. He's so anti-feet he's only touched mine once since we've been married. Doesn't bother me either way! lol.. So then I told him I had stuff I wanted to do before tomorrow came. He should be on days at work soon to prepare for his upcoming DLPT (annual language test). Anyway, I think I've ranted enough! Until next time!

So, I seem to be failing big time at trying to write something everyday. Well, I don't have an excuse. It's not like I'm incredibly busy during the day. I put so many things on my "to do list" and I rarely get half of it done. I need to get caught up on dishes and laundry. I still need to put food away from 3/4 days ago. I started brainstorming and implementing ideas for my Home Management Binder, but haven't got that far.
Speaking of the HMB, my husband's monitor broke, so he has been using my laptop. Well he saw the file for it on my desktop and went snooping. I felt like he was just going to pick at me for "wasting my time" on it. Instead he really likes the idea and wants me to put it in binder form. So now I feel a little pressure in doing something that was just supposed to be a little side project.
Holy cow, it's hard to type all this with one hand. Going to have to finish quick since Erin is fussing. I should know by now, this late at night, she just wants to go lay down..lol

So, we didn't get the car. =o( They said we would be approved for something in the low teens, ouch. But they told us to try again once we are able to put down more of a down payment, then it shouldn't be a problem. I am trying not to be bummed about this. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise for now. It will be nice to have a few months of not having to make a car payment. I will have 2 credit cards paid off in the next few months as well. So, by the next time we try for a car, my credit should have improved a little bit more too. *crossing fingers*

I love my husband. We really are perfect for each other. He gets me, and I would like to say I get him too. We balance each other out. He keeps me grounded, no one else has ever been able to basically grab me by my shoulders and say "chill out!" like he can. I may have had reasons to have my doubts with him in the past, but none of that is even present today. For the most part, my issues with trusting him are gone. After talking with him tonight, I know I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love everything he is doing for us, and especially for me. Instead of helping to pay of the debt accrued on my credit cards, he could tell me to just go out and get a job.

I may get a little irritated from time to time when I don't feel like he is helping enough. Or when I feel like I should be thanked, or even complimented. But, with Warren, the times he does those things, I really appreciate it. It's rare, and I can see why. If he was to tell me everyday, "wow, the house really does look nice," or stuff like that, it wouldn't make me feel the same way.

My husband is who he is, and he's not going to change. I can't believe it's taken me 4 years to just finally realize this. I love him as he is, and I don't want him to change. I mean sure, there are always

a few things that could be tweaked, but when it comes to his general character, to me, he's perfect.

Holy cow! So, today we find out if we will be considered to finance a used '09 Honda Element. http://www.kengarff.com/used-inventory/vehicle-details.htm?vehicleId=7a6366dd4046381e00628e427e0f0d8a That's the think for the car at the dealer. I'm really nervous, because yesterday they were telling us there would be no problems at all if we were able to make a $4k-$5k down payment. Right now, we're barely able to scrounge up $2500. Either this is the car we are meant to have, or we are just going to have to save up for a few months to find something different. I'm okay with whatever happens.

I love days when I am so absolutely busy that I don't even realize what the date is or if there was something I was forgetting. Like yesterday for example, I knew what the day was, pay day, so I should have been able to tell it was the 14th. I am glad I had kept myself so busy or else I probably would have been a depressed mess all day. Yesterday was the day my dad would have turned 61. But anyway, that day has come and gone already, it just makes me end up missing him even more.
On a different note, today is my mother-in-law's birthday. When I'm done typing this I will probably call her and see if there is anything she wants to do today. Granted, the weather isn't the best, but I just don't feel like sitting around. The hubby is just going to be sleeping all day anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if there should be a general theme to my blog. Other times I think that's just silly. But, those times when I feel like I should have one, it gets me thinking how I may write more often if I did have a theme.
Anyway, Erin is starting to toss and turn in her little chair. So, I think this will be another short post. She doesn't seem to sleep well anywhere else than with or on mommy.

Day 1 of forcing myself to write at least something everyday for a month

Things have been kind of interesting lately. I am way busier as a mother of two than I ever was with just Shannon. But I am LOVING it. I kind of feel like whatever hole that was there before has since been filled. More kids in the future one may ask, the answer as of right now, probably night. We said we'd discuss it in 3 more years, maybe.
I was getting into a really good workout and cleaning routine. Then, Erin changed her schedule on me again. I think kid's are completely unpredictable, and you know, I like it that way. It keeps me on my toes!
Anyway, back to this whole WiiFit business. I try to do about 20 minutes on it everyday. Since June, I have dropped about 3 pant sizes and close to 25 lbs since I walked into the hospital to have Erin. And a little over 10 lbs since I had my gallbladder taken out in the middle of June. I'm happy, I'm beginning to tone up a little.
All around, things are starting to really look up. Not like things were at a low to begin with, but there was room for small improvements. Anyway, will hopefully write more later. I have to try to get Erin down for her morning nap. Then, I eventually have to get some housework done and get some stuff for a church picnic this evening. So, I'm hoping to be busy! Wish me luck.

It's been far too long, again

So! Wow, it has definitely been a while since I last updated. Last day I wrote, my mom and grandma were on their way here. That was an interesting visit. It was nice having them here, yet stressful at the same time.
Erin arrived on May 6th, but my water first broke on May 4th. I woke up and had a small gush that turned into just a light trickle throughout the day. I went to the hospital to get checked, and they couldn't find any evidence of amniotic fluid, so they sent me home. May 5th, I woke up and the same thing again. But it was an even bigger gush and I was leaking even more than the day before. So, I went to the doctor's to get checked out this time instead of the hospital. They found evidence of leaking that time and sent me up to the hospital. My doctor wanted to get me started on pitocin since I wasn't having any contractions after my water broke.
Erin entered the world at 1:04 am on the 6th. My labor experience was SO much better this time around. I did end up getting the epidural, but I rarely needed to hit the button for it. Unlike Shannon, I didn't push for 2 hours, she was out in 3 contractions. They immediately placed her on my stomach/chest to clean her off, and the first thing she did was grasp my finger with her tiny, strong hand. I was able to give her the first bath and everything. It was really special for me since I missed out on it with Shannon.
Erin is now 2 and a half weeks old and is such a wonderful baby. With 2 kids now though, I feel there is nowhere near enough time in the day. Everything is just going by so fast, I just wish things would slow down a little bit. Well, except Warren going back to work. He's been off since the beginning of the month basically. This is officially the most time we have EVER spent together, and it's getting to the point where I want to strangle him. So, even though I have liked the little bit of help I've had, I'm excited for him to go back to work tomorrow night.
Lastly, Shannon is 3 today! I can't believe it. Back to the whole "time is going by too fast" thing..I can't believe in 2 years she'll be old enough for school. We celebrated her birthday on Friday with my husband's family. Her party was going to happen yesterday, but Friday morning we found out my father-in-law was leaving for his deployment a week early. So, he left yesterday. It was a fun party. The funny thing was Shannon had NO idea it was her birthday party, and today could care less that it's her birthday. Guess we will see next year when she's 4. Anyway, I think this is enough for now!

Playing the waiting game!

In a little more than 3 hours, my mom and grandma will be here. I'm pretty excited, but stressed at the same time. I am SO not the best housekeeper, period. My grandma has always had some comment to make about wherever we are living. This time around, the less she has to say, the happier I will be! So, I'll do some little spot cleaning and an hour or so before they arrive, I will do some scrubbing to make it smell nice haha.
With all the pressure and the pre-labor contractions, I am ready to be done! I hate walking around like I am hodling a watermelon between my thighs, or like I just finished a 4 hour horse ride. I went to the hospital Saturday night, because I was feeling contractions every 3-5 minutes. They saw a few occurring every 2-3 minutes on the monitor, but sent me home due to lack of progression. Warren was sooo ready that night too! He was even happy to show me his polo shirt so he didn't look like a scrub in baby pictures. His family gave him a lot of flack for what he was wearing when Shannon was born. So, he decided to dress a tad differently this time around. I was so frustrated after that night, all I could do was cry. They told me to go home, take a darvocet and get some sleep, so I did. I haven't really had contractions since then. I had a few last night about 4 minutes apart when I was trying to do dinner and dishes, so I sat down and they went away. But the pressure is still there. The nurse told me the pressure is what could potentially break my water. I had no idea since I was induced last time. I feel like a complete newb about going into labor this pregnancy.
Warren is taking some leave off this week to help me and spend some time with my family. His first day, he ended up staying up until 8 am playing video games, then crawled into the bed when I got up. So far, no time with me =o( Hopefully he'll decide to wake up once my family arrives. Anyway, I should probably get started on my to do lists. I foresee A LOT of breaks and pauses in the process, so I definitely need to get a move on!

Gold patent leather pants are hideous.

So, yeah, I've been bad and it's been a while since I've written anything. I guess a whole lot hasn't taken place. Still pregnant, still pulling my hair out over Shannon, and 75% of me is still hating my husband's schedule.
I love having the bed to myself at night. I love being able to utilize all pillows and every inch of the bed. But, I HATE being alone at night. Especially since I could have sworn I heard gun shots last night around 2 am. This place just freaks me out, and I'm so tired of telling the people below me to shut up. They throw more parties during the week than they do on the weekend. I can't wait until Erin is here so I can have 10 days of "normalcy" with my husband. I guess I took much for granted when we lived in Monterey.
Shannon finds so much humor in driving me NUTS. Like, I swear she still poops in her pants just to spite me. The other day she even thanked me for changing her diaper. I have just been so tempted to sit her on the toilet for a full day. Since we moved her toys to her room, put a small tv in there, and take her outside more, she has been a little easier to deal with. There have definitely been fewer time outs.
And yes, still pregnant! I guess I'm right around 36 weeks. Already at 2-3cm and about 50% effaced. I've had some spouts with irregular contractions and most days I feel like someone kicked me between the legs with a steel toe boot. I have no idea what I'm doing really right now. Since I was induced with Shannon, I didn't really go through any of this. So, I feel like I'm walking up to the batter's box with a blindfold on! My poor doctor's nurse, I call her constantly to tell her about some new symptom I'm feeling, or something to do with my gall bladder. I'm pretty excited though, we finally have everything we need or wanted. Also, my mom and grandma will be arriving on Monday. So, it will be nice to see them and hopefully get some sightseeing in before Erin arrives.

Losing my Mind!

Holy cow, it's hitting me..I'm almost a mom to two little girls. I seem to be finding myself feeling more and more overwhelmed everyday. Kicking my lazy habits is WAY harder than I thought it was going to be. Not to mention, all I did yesterday was the dishes and some rearranging in the living room. I was so tired of tripping over toys and cursing, so I moved her two big boxes of toys into her room. I may be crazy but, oh well.
Reason 1, I am absolutely tired of my entire living room floor taken over by toys. Warren and I were CONSTANTLY tripping over things or moving things to the side with our feet. Also, Warren doesn't watch where he walks, and he stepped right on part of her tea set the other day and broke it. =o(
Reason 2, I'm trying to get her out of the "baby" stage. I'm trying to give her a bit more independence. Also, moving the toys out of the living room has limited the amount of tv she has been watching.
This may sound selfish, but I'm sure every pregnant woman has either thought it or spoken it at least once. I WANT MY BODY BACK! I'm so tired of being uncomfortable, exhausted, and the lack of sleep SUCKS! I finally fell asleep shortly after midnight last night. But, Shannon was up and ready to go at 4:30 this morning! I'm really worried if my sleep is already out of sync now, what it would be like when Erin arrives. The late nights and early mornings really will kick my ass. Also, she will wake up at odd hours and just randomly climb in my bed. Last night she spun around and kicked me in the head. Well, she wasn't even attempting to sleep. When Warren came home at 6:45, he was immediately on Shannon duty. I don't know what to do about her sleep schedule. I have tried putting her into a schedule, and I have tried without a schedule. Both were epic fails! Not to mention, since October, she has taken maybe 2 naps. I just feel like I'm at my wits end some days, most days. Her behavior has durastically improved, but I feel like I have got to get her sleeping habits under control. Then, maybe I will think about potty training. Lol, I honestly think I slept more when she was a newborn than I do now. She wakes up in the night more than she did then too.

Wow! It's been well over a month since the last time I have written. I guess I have been busy, or I've just been keeping everything in my head. Or possibly both?
I went on my trip to California already. It was nice to be able to lounge around most days and not having to go anywhere. The weather was absolutely perfect. Other than family, that's the only part about California I miss. The day after I returned I had a doctor's appointment and an ultrasound.
Both appointments showed any signs of the echogenic (sp?) bowel or any complications associated with it to have disappeared. Big relief! I still have to go in for ultrasounds every month for other reasons. The last two ultrasounds they noticed the due date to have possibly changed because of her size. They want to make sure the placenta isn't allowing for any growth problems. With this pregnancy, I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another.
Warren and I are doing awesome. This is the best we have been probably ever. He's made the efforts lately of giving me the quality time I need, and even let me cuddle with him a few times. We both are not big on cuddling. It's usually uncomfortable for him and too hot for me. But, the last three nights we have watched tv and curled up on the couch together. He's been more helpful with things needing to be done around the house. And he hasn't nagged at me too bad about not getting stuff done in a "timely manner."
We are both getting excited for the arrival of Erin. We are slowly trying to get everything ready. It's still around 10 weeks before she will be here. So, we have just been looking at the last few items we will need, or want. Some people have asked if I am having a baby shower. And I have said I refuse to plan my own again lol. I'm not big on baby showers for consequtive children, but if someone wants to throw one, by all means, have at it! Anyway, I will hopefully update tomorrow after my appointments! TTFN!

I know I should just get over it, but...

I can't! I don't know if it's his work schedule or sleep schedule I am the most irritated over. He's been working 5pm-3am, but it's soon going to be changing to 9pm-7am. His sleep schedule used to be like 4am-2pm, before he left for Maryland a month ago. He came back and started sleeping like 7am-4-5pm. He even slept like this during his Christmas leave. With the most recent sleeping schedule, Shannon has either been going to bed later, or waking up at 1-4am just to spend time with daddy.
We had been talking about having a date night for about a week now and decided Friday, tonight, would be the best night for everyone. He was supposed to call his mom 2 days ago and ask if she could watch Shannon, never did. So, I woke him up briefly a few hours ago so I could call her and figure out a time. He still has yet to give me a time, just shouted and told me 5pm was too early and to basically just let him sleep. Then proceeded to tell me he is changing his sleeping schedule, yet again, for his new work schedule.
I never like talking ill about my husband or the discussions we have, but I am beyond irritated at this point. I just don't see why he can't change his schedule to spend more time with us!? He lays down a fat guilt trip on me every time I confront him about it too. So, am I just supposed to sit back and deal?? As a military wife I'm used to it, I'm used to going with the flow, I'm used to just sitting back and waiting. I don't know but to me, asking him to spend more conscious time with us does not seem unreasonable.